A Teenaged Wish by Hip-Hop Honey

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Submission Name: A Teenaged Wish dots

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Author:	Hip-Hop Honey
ASL Info:	16/f/canada
Elite Ratio:	3.51 - 105/86/31
Words:	83

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	198
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	515

Description:
I wrote this a few minutes ago about a great friend of mine..And when I refer to "even when you see clouds in my eyes" it means when you see me with clouded teary eyes...i know it's not very long but I had to write it in the moment...Hope you like it

A Teenaged Wish dots

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I wish you were here
To hold me close
Take away all my pain
Wipe these tears away
Comfort me
Whisper in my ear
The things I've always wanted to hear
Help me conquer these fears
Say you love me
Even when you see clouds in my eyes
Tell me everything will be alright
That's when I look up at you
Say thank you with a smile
If only you were here
Would this teenaged wish
Ever come true
I love you

Submitted on 2006-01-21 19:34:26 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  It started off a little bit rough, but the more I read, the better it got. :) You have a lot of potential. Keep up the good work!

Emily
| Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by invisiblerose | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked reading this poem it is one of ur best ones so far.And im sorry for whatever your going through and i hope you find someone u can talk to.I like the part that says:

Whisper in my ear,
the things i've always wanted to hear.
Help me conquer these fears.

But great job.
| Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by suicidal_chick | [ Reply to This ]
  Before I read the description, I thought this might be about a lost parent. Great poem, I can feel what you're writing.

I understood the cloud statement too, no need to explain.
| Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by Lynda | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed reading it. I've written something along similar lines about a friend of mine who moved away. I still miss him and he's still my best friend of all time, but we're moving on. Earlier today, I proved that one thing I thought was both of us was really just me. I guess the biggest thing my friend ever did for me was give me more confidence in myself and in my personality. :) Thanks for reminding me of him! :)
| Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by Siberianhearts | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, this is really really good. don't worry about it being short, because you put alot of feeling and meaning and creativity into that amount, short or not. It's really sad, evoked a lot of feeling in me, since i've felt it as well...well i'm feeling it now so i really connected with this poem. hope to read more great ones like this in the future.
*barbie*
| Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by Meotoko | [ Reply to This ]
  I do beleive this is your best poem yet and I wish that the perosn was there with u too becuz I knwo what u are going through right now and I hope u the best and and if u do end up doing what u have told me about I just want u to know that I will miss you and that I lvoe you and that no matter what I'm always here for u for anyhting
=Logan=
| Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]

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