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Awakened with your transparent eyes in the fog of the hour and wanting to call you and make you believe I love you. Calling your voice mail again just to hear your cool warmth then leave you another silent message of everything I obsess about in the late hours of the night. That butterfly, sickening feeling of pure raw sexual tension and the insecurity of a high school girl on her first date. The deep desire to have every thought and every feeling you own to be given to me and to know you lost sleep over me just once. Consumed with those visions of you, me, and them and that last time we swayed and I knew you were living your life for my touch. Listening to Chris Isaak again and throwing that insanity around my brain some more with your scent being the only true thing I know. Dreaming of disillusionment and heartache that a thousand sorrys eat from like ravenous vultures circling in the darkened sky. This is my bittersweet obession that torments me awake in the wicked hours of the night that are reserved for only you. |
Good title.. and the poem itself seeps with emotion and longing, with a sense of frustration. Good descriptions of the need to be with and feel this person, or to just hear his voice. Just some sort of "contact" to get you through the night. "that last time we swayed and I knew you were living your life for my touch." - been there. S7 - This a most powerful stanza.. though, while reading, I kept wanting to replace "sorrys" with "sorrows". A great write.. and you ended it with just the right touch. | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ] | Leave the Chris Isaak, cause it makes it your work. It means something to you, and if you take it away, you're taking away a piece of yourself. I love this poem. I particularly like the third and forth stanzas. Especially the part about the butterfly sickening feeling of pure raw sexual tension. I couldn't have put it better if I tried, and believe me I have. I know exactly what you mean with this. It's a wonderful piece of work. | | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ] | I feel a little sick that I have been the person in this poem too many times!! but the poem describes that feeling perfectly and I commend you for it. very well done. I like the Chris Isaak part but maybe that's cuz I like Chris Isaak! I really don't think it takes away from the piece. You have my sympathy if you're going through this right now. heaven and hell at the same time. love. it sometimes makes you want to throw up! but it also makes you feel great. so what to do? hang in there and don't fall off the moon. | | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ] | Wow...that's definitely a favorite. | That was truly an incredible write. It's definitely something I can relate to, but it's also SO well-written. It's hard to pick a favorite stanza, because pretty much every one identifies a feeling that once seemed impossible to put words on. The one that is sticking out to me right now is... The deep desire to have every thought and every feeling you own to be for only me and to know you lost sleep over me just once. That feeling when love becomes a near obsession is so beautiful, but the insecurity that comes with maybe knowing that it is only one-sided is absolutely miserable. I don't know how many times I've lost sleep just wondering if the person I was thinking about was doing the same thing. Excellent job with this...definitely a fav for me. -Josh | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by indianhog74 | [ Reply to This ] | Very nicely done. | You have a lot of really good bits in here that absolutely tell of the pure obsession we can get with a love, and most people would relate to several of your allusions. My only advice would be to drop the "Chris Isaak" it tends to break the spell of your words by snapping the reader back to the real world, maybe just use "the same music" or something of that ilk, but it's just a thought. Overall, my applause, this is truly enjoyable, and I love a good fixation! well done be happy Graeme | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ] | |