[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Let it burndots

    Author: delusional
    ASL Info:    42
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 75/98/18
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1029
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 512

       Now THATS a fire!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet it burndots

    Burning up in flames,
    your words on a page.
    Incinerating my desire,
    my passion and rage.

    All the lies flicker...
    and sweet words turn black
    a peace starts to fill me,
    now theres no turning back.

    As the wind sweeps the embers
    up towards the sky,
    it takes with it your memory
    and my need to ask why.

    At last I am free
    to give up the fight
    and as the flames die
    fuel within me ignights.

    Submitted on 2006-01-22 10:11:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Great work!
    I liked it, cause it was so emotional and the fire within it so familiar.

    I loved this sentence:

    As the wind sweeps the embers
    up towards the sky,

    I really pictured ember flames dancing in the wind, towards the heavens igniting trees and stuff on its way. Lol.. Good passion poem!
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by ChrystalR | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooo...I liked the last two lines! Very powerful.
    This had a nice rhythm and was an enjoyable read. A very tight piece of writing that was inspiring as well. Well done!
    | Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      The form works very well here, really captures the feeling of dancing flames and their wicked little tongues!

    Good short lines that whip along with good steady speed, slowing down a little at the end as the fire (and the anger?) tapper out.

    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by Jason The Basta | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem was really clear , its like you put some locked up expressions inside this peom and it seems it was very thought out! i love the last paragraph there where at the end fuel within me ignights... very well done! good job and this poem will go far! nice writing!

    Sincerly , SunshineQT
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by SunshineQT | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]