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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Let it burndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: delusional
    ASL Info:    42
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 75/98/18
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 780
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 512



    Description:
       Now THATS a fire!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet it burndots
    -------------------------------------------


    Burning up in flames,
    your words on a page.
    Incinerating my desire,
    my passion and rage.

    All the lies flicker...
    and sweet words turn black
    a peace starts to fill me,
    now theres no turning back.

    As the wind sweeps the embers
    up towards the sky,
    it takes with it your memory
    and my need to ask why.

    At last I am free
    to give up the fight
    and as the flames die
    fuel within me ignights.




    Submitted on 2006-01-22 10:11:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Great work!
    I liked it, cause it was so emotional and the fire within it so familiar.

    I loved this sentence:

    As the wind sweeps the embers
    up towards the sky,

    I really pictured ember flames dancing in the wind, towards the heavens igniting trees and stuff on its way. Lol.. Good passion poem!
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by ChrystalR | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooo...I liked the last two lines! Very powerful.
    This had a nice rhythm and was an enjoyable read. A very tight piece of writing that was inspiring as well. Well done!
    | Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      The form works very well here, really captures the feeling of dancing flames and their wicked little tongues!

    Good short lines that whip along with good steady speed, slowing down a little at the end as the fire (and the anger?) tapper out.

    Jason
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by Jason The Basta | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem was really clear , its like you put some locked up expressions inside this peom and it seems it was very thought out! i love the last paragraph there where at the end fuel within me ignights... very well done! good job and this poem will go far! nice writing!

    Sincerly , SunshineQT
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by SunshineQT | [ Reply to This ]


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