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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The silent voicedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: delusional
    ASL Info:    42
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 75/98/18
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 847
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 763



    Description:
       Praise to the One who knows me so very well, and loves me anyway...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots The silent voicedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A rare moment of silence
    and I can hear Your voice
    although my life belongs to You
    You still have given me a choice.

    To stumble around in the darkness
    or dance into the light
    shun the voice inside of me,
    or do what I know is right.

    Like a flower that fears the sun,
    shall I remain the same....
    and never have a chance to grow
    in the shadow of my shame?

    In the dark I've searched for truth
    of things I cannot understand
    with Your grace You rescued me,
    and You guide me with Your hand.

    Praise to you today
    for pulling me through.
    Should darkness ever fall again,
    I'll be holding on to YOU.




    Submitted on 2006-01-22 10:29:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Some suggestions for the rhythm (this poem deserves to be perfect). In the first stanza, last line "You've still given me choice" fits better to the beat. The second stanza, first line, remove "the". Third stanza, second line, "shall I, too, remain the same...". Last stanza, "So praise to You today for helping pull me through" improves rhythm. Just trying to help.

    DeepDreamer2008
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece touched my heart and shook my entire being. What I admire most about this piece is that you didn't really go so deep into the trivial differences between numerous religions. I'm not a Christian, but I believe in God, and in times of need, the greatest athiest does so too. You are a wonderful inspiration, and I think the title of this deserves capitol letters.

    DeepDreamer2008
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was so good that it reads almost like lyrics...direct from the heart with a pleasing sound to the ear and an easy roll from the tounge.
    It's nice to see some more religious pieces here. They bring a certain inspired joy to the reader.
    God's peace
    jan
    | Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful
    Absolutely Beautiful
    This write sums up the Love your speaking of perfectly
    My Friend you captured my Heart with this one
    And I Thank God for giving you the words you shared with us
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron

    Im adding this to my favorites
    | Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem i can feel you expressions for one who should know u very well to seem to know u as well as i must, but you express your feeling of faith and the desires you have this poem will go far!
    good work!

    sincerly, SunshineQT
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by SunshineQT | [ Reply to This ]
      I can feel your faith in God is very strong. It is full of expression and emotions .It appears you have done something wrong and regret it. It helps to get everything out in a poem and it really eases the mind.
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by Highland Girl | [ Reply to This ]
      One can feel the connection you have with the god you are speaking to in this poem. Personally, I am not a religious person, but this is very deep and emotional, and makes me envious of your faith.
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by ParanoidParadox | [ Reply to This ]


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