This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: nicelyJ
Elite Ratio:    5.64 - 999 /519 /73
Words: 59
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1898
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 385


I guess this is more of a mind-fart than anything.


on the brink of
guishing flame

surrounded by a pit of black
trying to stave back

for the life of me, I can't

sink deeper

it's growing cold here
and I'm growing sleepier

as extinction seems evident, yet
almost sweet

Submitted on 2006-01-23 09:12:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This was great, covering a good easy to relate to subject while not falling into the cliché. Isn't that what makes things good? Well, I think it is, and so good job. The stark/shortness of the write works well. (I hope the word stark means bleak/emptyish)
| Posted on 2007-02-19 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]
  Extinction does seem sweet sometimes, but you have to resist it any way. I love how you wrote this one. It contains basically just one thought, but very expressive and meaningful.
The way you’re breaking the lines and forming the stanzas is quite strange, but that’s the one thing that keeps the reader following your thoughts. You have a really interesting approach.
Just keep on writing, it’s a great way not to get extinguished.
| Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
  Really great poem and it's not like all the other ones on this site (a great plus in my books) I loved the way you wrote this and hope you keep up the great work ^_^
| Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a ggod write with a great use of words
You wrote of the pesonal battle we all have with our very Lives
There are decisions we make that will be wrong but when we we look deep at them we find the corrections that need to be made
I enjoyed reading this
Thank You for sharing this write

Please if you get a chance take a llook at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
| Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?