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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Promisesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Autum-Moon
    ASL Info:    15/Female/drowing
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 284/165/29
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 1089
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 462



    Description:
       This is a promise I made to myself a long time ago. I worte it as a poem to always remind me and to make sure I follow it. Any feedback is good.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPromisesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Try to forgive,
    Teach me to live,
    And give me the strength
    To try.

    So many years,
    Holding back tears,
    The time has come,
    To brake free,

    Say goodbye to the past,
    You’re free at last,
    So spread your wings,
    And fly.

    Live the dream you've made,
    Walk the path you've laid,
    Now is the time,
    To leave it all behind.




    Submitted on 2006-01-23 12:52:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this poem. I understood the whole thing. Forgetting things in the past and just..letting go. Remind me to do that. Good job
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very relatable poem. There is too much time spent reviewing the past, that it makes us over look whats happening around us. The theme is very clear, and I liked the rhythm you used.
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by Ishtar | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece had nice sentiment to it and it does seem like it's a new year poem or one at the end of one journey and on to another one - hopeful for what's ahead!
    Good!
    ps: change brake to break
    Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey,

    Good write. It seems to be happier, which is great. I love it when yu are happy. The flow and emotion is great.

    *Let it Flow*
    Raven
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by Silent_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this! Although I am curious what this is about? Anyways this was a great write. I loved the flow and the wording. The ryhming was a bit off in the second stanza, but other than that it was perfect. Great job!
    Alyssa
    | Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this a lot it sounds like a poem for the new year. i truly beleive that if you try hard enought that you will make it somewhere big with your work. i like it alot. i hope to read more by you soon.

    love
    tina
    | Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      The poetry is nice but some lines here don't rime. "So many years,Holding back tears" is a good line but the one after that is kind of without a rythm.
    Anyways, keep writing...
    | Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by afsana | [ Reply to This ]


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