Orison by Dalja

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Submission Name: Orison dots

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Author:	Dalja
ASL Info:	17/m/not New Orleans now
Elite Ratio:	4.04 - 22/27/8
Words:	76

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	230
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	467

Description:
Another homework-assignment-turned-decently-good- poem!!
Enjoy.

Orison

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New land, bless me.
Embrace me in your walls.
Be my refuge and my keep,
My castle; my haven.
Love me as one of your own
And bid me do well in your midst.
Censure me from the ailments
And grace me with generations.
Let not my blood ever stain your grass.
From foreign lands I am dismissed,
But here I pray abode.
Allow me in through your beautiful gates
And please be my home.

Submitted on 2006-01-23 18:56:17 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This has a passionate positive tone that i really liked. You speak with honest fervor, and the word choices emphasize that this a prayer-to your new home country. I thought that was beautiful, personifying (really deifying-) this new land,- it shows your utter trust and that your hopes and heart are in her hands.
Very Nice
Silver
| Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
  a very beautiful little prayer indeed..
"love me as one of your own
and bid me do well in your midst"
what a noble request, hmmmm, yes,yes, I must add this to my faves. this is outstanding, beginning to end and back again. I wish I had written this it would have fit in well with a piece I wrote awhile back titled "She"
You sound so hopeful in this despite the circumstances that I am guessing gave you the words. hope you and yours are all OK.
I sense a very calm, very strong, very wise voice
behind this piece of poetry.
I like this tons

Milo
| Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by Milo shanley | [ Reply to This ]
  exactly the words I used when we found our property :)

"Be my refuge and my keep,
My castle; my haven.
Love me as one of your own
And bid me do well in your midst.
Censure me from the ailments
And grace me with generations." beautifully written.. I don't have any comments on anything to change I love it the way it is.. thank you for sharing.
| Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by rosered | [ Reply to This ]
  I read your info, and so I assume you were ousted from New Orleans. That adds a lot of meaning to the poem.
Nevertheless, this was a good read. I like the way it conveys a lot of emotion, but it's still really simple. I think I'll fave it.
-HaldirLives
| Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by HaldirLives | [ Reply to This ]

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