Description: anything you think. You think, you type.
My Friend Under my Bed -------------------------------------------
A monster used to live under my bed
i gave him safe refuge:he hid from the feds
i'd let him stay there for a buck ninty-five
every week. he dwelt and did stay alive
he slept durring the day: couldn't stand the light
he'd eat the bed-bugs and wish me goodnight.
he duked it out with the monster in the closet
and was kind enough to fix the leaky faucet.
but one day he ran out of money: had to leave
even though still on the rn from the police
He said "keep that spot saved. I will come again"
and so i sleep on the floor, awaiting my friend.
This is childish but funny a really good write. I liked the simplicity of it but reading between the lines you realize it's complexity and the message. The fact that you were able to look beyond the monster's horrible exterior (i can imagine) and it's legal woes to see the true friend within is just awesome. Good write really.
creative. Truly a mastermind would have to come up with something like this. You've taken what most people feared as a child and turned it into a best friend. Of course, it isn't all on the surface. You are symbolizing something. You have a friendly way of seeing the monster whil he is persued y the authorities and others hate and fear him..it... Keep it up. You have taken your hildish mind and combinded it with your great poetic skill. Being able to have the creative thoughts like a child is rare to find, but will truley turn into something great eventually.
I liked this peom, it tickeled the funny bone. I think some of the verse lines could be altered a bit to fit a pattern, but on the whole I was totally amused. Good write.
Who is immature, now, eh? Anyways, this is a funny poem, in a childish way. Also in a money person's way. Lol. Anyways, things you can work on... Keeping it rounder. Don't go too long. Break a couple things up. Using different rhyme schemes. In a poem like this, a different rhyme here and there would enhance it. All in all, I liked it.
P.S. Thanks for the comment on the Ninja Penguins. And your inner child cannot beat mine. Mine has the #2 penguins. no one can beat him!!! plus, he works out.
Submission Name: My Friend Under my Bed
