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Author: huntingjonathon
ASL Info:    31/M/San Fran
Elite Ratio:    3 - 69 /117 /61
Words: 243
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 808
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 1712


Some people simply can't create on their own,
creation by destruction is their last hope.


The beating started
hours after consuming
the first drink of the evening;
a Jaeger and red bull
that bit every inch
of my throat
as it declared
its worthiness
for the few seconds
of its existence.

Just one punch at first-
fell with an appealing thud
to the back of
the skull.

It was as well received
as I could have hoped;
considering the spontaneity
I wasn't expecting much,
but the recoil up my arm,
into my shoulder
birthed ideas of
yet another strike.

I stood over my victim staring
through a blurry lens on life
and hammered down for a
second blow.

The attack was immediate
and continued without
Like a piston
pumping at the instant
of ignition,
I began to pummel my
best friend
within inches of
his life.

He knew nothing of the reason,
of the cause.

I knew nothing of the rage that
had been building,
blinding me from the onset;

but there it was-

and I felt that only he,
the only person I ever loved,
was worthy of experiencing
my most glorious moment
of passion.

He fell face first into the toilet
onto the floor
establishing an intimacy
with the cold linoleum.

Blood streaked down
the porcelain
filling the crevices
between each tile
with perfect rivulets
of red.

Submitted on 2006-01-24 02:25:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I loved your use of word choice and your imagery fully conveyed the scene being played out.
| Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by xxxpunky_fishxx | [ Reply to This ]
  Well... This is... Different. It has great poetic quality, but the words in question are... Violent... At first, I thought this would be maybe funny, but saw differently. To beat your best friend up, and have his blood spill onto a toilet to make art... Very discriptive. It indeed made pictures in my mind. Don't go overboard, or i am going to think you are crazier than me. In all, this is a good poem.
| Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by Sephiroth | [ Reply to This ]
  ive had experiences like this in the past. im glad somebody had the balls to write such violence. people usually stay away from stuff like that cuz they think poetry about bunnies and beating yourself up.i liked the end the way the blood made a pattern and for you was meaningful and therefore is art good stuff
| Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by groucho1 | [ Reply to This ]
  Toilet art... new concept to me. I am not quite sure why you wanted to share this experience for us but it doesn't appeal to me and I am a non-aggressive individual and hate to see any sort of violence. as for the style and the metre it was great. So keep up the good work.

| Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by Crackwalker | [ Reply to This ]
  This shyt is crazy man. HAHA Hellz yahz thats toilet art. WOW. lmao That was really a good write...I was like "wtf...beating up his friend" but now I realize that you were probably both u remember this...I have no idea LMFAO Nice work though man. Kudos!
| Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by MC-Chillz | [ Reply to This ]
  You may or may not have ment for it to be, but I found it morbidly hilarious...but I have A screwed up sense of humor anyway. That was just a good way. All I can say is I'm glad I'm not your friend.
| Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by curiosityskitty | [ Reply to This ]
  Is this what you had did to your friend? O.o I don't think so...

Anyways, it was indeed serious. Violence understandably described, and I could feel the pain both from your knuckles, as well as how unbearable was it to hit your best friend. Well yea in some way its indeed toilet art, blood and stuff. Good write.
| Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by RyukiTZR | [ Reply to This ]

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