Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Devils and Daisiesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lynxstarfire
    ASL Info:    26/Feline/MD
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 100/106/54
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 943
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1077



    Description:
       A poem I wrote a few years ago that never got much commentary on DA so i figured I'd post it here...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDevils and Daisiesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Devils and Daisies,
    Dreams and Desires,
    Gentlemen and Ladies,
    Thieves and Liars,
    I call you here to witness this,
    Yet one more sweet verbal kiss,
    In hopes to bring,
    A thought or ponderance or cause to sing,
    A new song with the message clear,
    To bring you comfort and chase your fear,
    Away from distraction's delicate ways,
    To clear your head and lighten your days,
    To bring a smile or thoughtful frown,
    Perhaps you'll not wish to set this down,
    And if I manage to entice your mind,
    Maybe then I can remind,
    You of things you'd thought were gone,
    But instead were waiting to hear a new song,
    And if in this you should find a fault,
    Please do not toss it in the vault,
    But instead then take to heart,
    The reason souls seem torn apart,
    When all is lost except oneself,
    The only way to keep your health,
    Is to sit and contemplate,
    The dreams and bliss of yesterday.
    Matt B. 09-18-03,




    Submitted on 2006-01-24 02:26:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a really nice piece and it has certainly enticed my mind I really don't understand why there aren't more comments here. This is a great write and you've done an amazing job on getting the reader to think.
    Sorry that I can't think of a better comment to give your piece but you should know I appreciate you sharing it with us. Thanks

    -Jess
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      Another riveting piece - I thoroughly enjoyed the beat & flow & sensation of this piece. It seems like today God is sending me to the messages I need to read and recognize. Thanks friend!
    Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed your poem in many ways. First of all i enjoyed your descriptive wordplay and your meaningness towards love. Then there was some things i dident like. I dident like how you dident lay your heart down and this piece. A good poet does not show his/her pencil, He/she shows there true feelings. Just try to cooperate with the paper and forget about that dang pencil, Act like there is no pencil. Write with passion and with truth.
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by SumN | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    88660

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry