The Beauty in Sadness by diamonds_2

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Submission Name: The Beauty in Sadness dots

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Author:	diamonds_2_dust
ASL Info:	15/m/Eugene Oregon
Elite Ratio:	3.47 - 105/161/35
Words:	89

Class/Type:	Poetry/Dark
Total Views:	205
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	549

Description:
say whatever you want to say about it.

The Beauty in Sadness dots

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Once again i lose hope and fall into thise hole
that you call depression. It swallows me whole
No point in fighting to the bitter end
when what i am fighting is a good friend

Passion, lust
false hope, broken trust
blackened hate
demise and fate
you hold me near
when i cry these tears
in your arms as scarred as mine
no better friend will i ever find
who stays in the shadows, waiting for me to fall
you are my hopelessness, you are my all...

Submitted on 2006-01-24 03:24:43 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Mm...not bad. I can relate to the first stanza a lot, but I think the wording is kind of awkward. The last two lines have good use of repetition with the word "fighting," but you might want to change the wording a little bit.

The second stanza is written better; I like how the lines gradually get longer. I think the paradox in the last line is my favorite part of the whole poem.

You've got a lot of spelling/grammar errors that you should probably fix. It kind of detracts from it.

Overall, good write, but it has the potential to improve a lot.
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Ruby Rivers | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow man thats pritty deep, i go threw [censored] like that alot and i know how you feel but i sure wish i could write lke that...
| Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by Breed of Wind | [ Reply to This ]
  that poems flow was nice it gave it a dark vibe along with the vibe it had using the words...i especially liked the last line but dont make him your all or youll have nothing left... hold on to shadows they are a beautiful thing to behold
| Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by True Purpose | [ Reply to This ]
  sad, very sad. I suffer depression and I can totally relate. Funny how it moves the soul to write about it, sort of a cleansing.

Crackwalker
| Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by Crackwalker | [ Reply to This ]

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