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    dots Submission Name: What Went Wrong?dots

    Author: MC-Chillz
    ASL Info:    18/M/KS
    Elite Ratio:    3.28 - 36/35/6
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 758
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 487

       Decided to do sumthing besides a flow...thinking of Cassie, an ex-girlfriend that I truly loved...I doubt I'll ever write more of this BULLSHIT again...needed to get it off my head!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat Went Wrong?dots

    I think of you all the time,
    Wishing you were still mine,
    Since the day we weren't together,
    Things still haven't gotten any better,
    I ask myself what did I do wrong,
    Still not knowing what went wrong,
    You were my only reason to live,
    Now I don't think I should live any longer,
    I thought we were meant for each other,
    But I guess you found another lover,
    I'm still asking what went wrong.

    Submitted on 2006-01-24 03:36:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      good rhyme man .. i think the words chosen can be improved but well.. i like i t .. just i think you need to put some other details .. but well overall its good then .. !
    peace and love!
    take care!
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      This was nice, especially cuz it's not your usual thing. good way of venting though, there was a lot of emotoin and it expresses some realistic thoughts, sometimes there's nothing you can do but I'm right here with your pain on this one. this was pretty wicked chillz.
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      good write and lots of emotion sometimes we ask ourselves these questions but the answer is with someone else no bad intent given
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice venting poem. I like the wording and it flows nicely. Some of the rhyming is a bit off but that can be fixed if you read it over. Good job.
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]
      good way to vent. yeah i've written about chicks or ex's that i miss. i think everybody on this site does at least one post about love or missing someone. good job Chillz
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      you didn't go wrong anywhere. You pitched in your honest amount and she split for another. That means she's a shallow [censored] who doesn't deserve you.
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by diamonds_2_dust | [ Reply to This ]
      Rhythemic, short and sweet. Something that I'll like to read once in a while to... wonder about in my life? lol.

    As what Crackwalker had said, its full of emotion, and its like fresh confusion of the mind.
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by RyukiTZR | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice peice totally empathize. The use of the word wrong ending two lines could have made a difference, but on the whole totally entertaining, full of emotion and bewilderment

    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by Crackwalker | [ Reply to This ]

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