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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Twelve steps beyonddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: delusional
    ASL Info:    42
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 75/98/18
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 889
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1279



    Description:
       My mothers side of the family has a strong alcoholic legacy. With most of them gone now- she remains the only one strong enough to break the chains. Yes - the twelve steps are a reference to programs of that kind- dont like it? At worst it would make a darn good country-western song- whata ya'll think?


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    dotsTwelve steps beyonddots
    -------------------------------------------


    As a child all alone,
    I'd cry and I'd wonder;
    what kind of spell
    that bottle held you under;

    Why you held it tighter
    than you ever held me-
    Why my face was never one
    you wanted to see.

    Your guilt and shame-
    I couldn't take away,
    so each night before sleep
    I'd lie there and pray:

    "Lord, does she love me?-
    because I never can tell."
    Then I grew- and I raged
    and I made your life hell.

    Come a day in my teens-
    we found you on the floor,
    your slurred words proclaiming;
    "I cant do this anymore!"

    How grateful was I-
    to have my mother there,
    for the first time in my life-
    you showed me you cared.

    At last I understand-
    although the battle's not my own;
    you fought this one hard-
    and you struggled alone.

    So what words can I give you-
    to make this alright?
    I watched you rise from darkness-
    and come into the light.

    For all the courage inside you-
    I have to thank you, Mom
    because you loved me enough-
    to go twelve steps beyond.




    Submitted on 2006-01-24 09:08:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was great! The rhyming worked quite well in this piece and you got a ton of emotion out. The title is what brought me in and it worked very well for your poem. I can't imagine going through this, but I'm glad that you shared it and let everyone see that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel, if you choose to see it. I think that's the best thing to take out of here, is that there is always a choice and a way to break that vicious cycle-whatever that cycle may be. Great job with this!

    Candi
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Excellent job. I can't express how much I enjoyed this. You are an amazing writer. And I look forward to reading more of your work. :) Contine writing. You seem to have a knack for it ;)
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by invisiblerose | [ Reply to This ]
      First off, welcome to ES!

    I guess this is personal, as you certainly tell a believable story, I just wondered if free verse would have more impact than the rhyme version...just a thought.

    You've fone a pretty good job here, as you're telling a HUGE story in a small poem, and i absolutely love the title, that's very good indeed.

    Well done

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liek this beautiful yet very emotional poem. The rhyme was wonderfuly done and you did a great job on expressing your emotions. Very deep and personal, great job.
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the emotion in this poem...not many writers are able to invoke that type of feeling...also like the alternating rhyme...looks like a very personal piece...thanks for sharing...
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by encognyto | [ Reply to This ]


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