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    dots Submission Name: Transparencydots

    Author: jessie thomas
    ASL Info:    24/F/Alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 299/338/79
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1045
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 704

       I worte this a while ago. About a girl who is feeling like everyone can see all of the things she's been trying to hide.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I am sitting here
    My wrists are bare
    The people around me
    Are beginning to stare

    I think they can see
    What I've been trying to hide
    The cuts that I've covered
    The tears that I've cryed

    Can they see my thoughts?
    I think only at night
    Can they see the scars
    I've made out of frite

    Do they see how I feel
    Do they know what I've done
    Those times that he told me
    It's "all in good fun"

    Outside am I now as ugly
    As my insides once displayed
    Outside am I slowly rotting
    As my insides have already decayed

    Submitted on 2006-01-24 21:10:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Another great poem, this one is toching. I know how it is to have a tough life or a perdicament that you know is not right, but you cannot escape.
    I hope this was written about a friend and not real life experiences.
    But you are still here, and we both need to be greatful for that.
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by dustinamoody | [ Reply to This ]
      Great write. You continue to grow and get better. You were already better than me and you keep steadilyincreasing the distance. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really really pretty...well,maybe pretty is not the right adjetive because it is a sad poem and I know it to be true...you really make me feel with this one. I empathize with you my dear cousin...just the other day people were speculating about the little dashes on my wrist and arms...so I know how you feel. But I think all your scars only add to your beauty...they give you character...

    Much luv
    and empathy and peace
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Even thought this piece is depressing, I like how you worded it. The rhyming was great. Although, I must point out two spelling errors:
    I've made out of frite "frite" is actually spelled "fright" and The tears that I've cryed "cryed" is spelled cried. Other than the grammical errors, the piece was great. It had deep emotion and was very true. At one point in life, we all feel like the girl you wrote about.
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]
      This makes me... guilty, almost. It's an almost apologetic feeling that anyone should feel this way, even when they don't have to. The feel of this poem, though, I can relate to, because it's the things you don't think you could never cover up that sting the most when you learn how wrong you were.

    And the outside doesn't match the inside, because, it seems, the inside is as sorry for what it did as the outside reminds it.
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by racconeyes | [ Reply to This ]
      no. she is not ugly. she is misunderstood. And what people do not understand, they insult and criticize... well, that's what i see at least. I guess your view is logical too...
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by diamonds_2_dust | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, you know what. Chicks dig scars... So there you go. I think that scars are just other aspects of your whole appearance and personality. Like the freckles that dot someone's cheeks, the curls in your hair, or the shocking color of your eyes. Scars are a reminder of who we were and what we want to be, and the struggles that we went through to become who we are. I also think you are more beautiful because of your scars, and I am so, so proud of you for pulling out of what could have been your early demise! Oh, yeah, beautiful poem too! Love you, cuz!
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]

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