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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Christmas Garlanddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 136/243/156
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 699
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 857



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChristmas Garlanddots
    -------------------------------------------


    The day I accepted I loved You -
    As in bold, italic, formal - Sir,
    Mere yawn thrown on the scattered papers,
    An arrow whistling in the dreamy streets -
    So cold, so lost,
    Gold and blue, and sky in feathers,
    And far away, on the very borders
    Of the fingerprint universe
    I painted for both of us,
    A whisper.

    It stretched across the whole of humanity,
    It tickled in your ear
    And brushed against your frozen cheeks,
    And plunged together with the snow,
    Where it would agonize and melt -
    Drops of moon on the pavement.

    My love is but a blasphemy,
    Reach out and fall,
    Winter's oaths keep breaking,
    And I'm burnt out -
    An old Christmas garland
    On its last Christmas tree.





    Submitted on 2006-01-25 04:34:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is very romantic and original. I love these lines and the way you decrease the syllable count so that the last line sounds like a whisper.

    And far away, on the very borders
    Of the fingerprint universe
    I painted for both of us,
    A whisper.

    I also like the way you have extended the image and the lightness of the touch.

    It tickled in your ear
    And brushed against your frozen cheeks,

    The last Christmas garland is also a good image.

    love and peace
    Comradenessie
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]


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