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Christmas Garland


Author: expiring_touch
ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 139 /260 /173
Words: 135
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1380
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 857



Description:




Christmas Garland



The day I accepted I loved You -
As in bold, italic, formal - Sir,
Mere yawn thrown on the scattered papers,
An arrow whistling in the dreamy streets -
So cold, so lost,
Gold and blue, and sky in feathers,
And far away, on the very borders
Of the fingerprint universe
I painted for both of us,
A whisper.

It stretched across the whole of humanity,
It tickled in your ear
And brushed against your frozen cheeks,
And plunged together with the snow,
Where it would agonize and melt -
Drops of moon on the pavement.

My love is but a blasphemy,
Reach out and fall,
Winter's oaths keep breaking,
And I'm burnt out -
An old Christmas garland
On its last Christmas tree.





Submitted on 2006-01-25 04:34:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  This is very romantic and original. I love these lines and the way you decrease the syllable count so that the last line sounds like a whisper.

And far away, on the very borders
Of the fingerprint universe
I painted for both of us,
A whisper.

I also like the way you have extended the image and the lightness of the touch.

It tickled in your ear
And brushed against your frozen cheeks,

The last Christmas garland is also a good image.

love and peace
Comradenessie
| Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]


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