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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Tiny Ballerinadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 796
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 683



    Description:
       Maybe I was spending a little too much time listening to Tiny Dancer. And maybe I thought my dear Jessie needed her own rendition of the song. So, I wrote it. I don't care what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Tiny Ballerinadots
    -------------------------------------------


    My tiny ballerina,
    She twirls and she spins,
    Skirt flaring out about her,
    Hair blowing in the wind.

    My tiny ballerina,
    My perfect flower child
    Her mind is free and open,
    Her heart, a little wild.

    My tiny ballerina,
    I love to watch her dance.
    Such a tragic little figure,
    Giving life a second chance.

    My tiny ballerina,
    Perfect in every way.
    Her smile lights up the room,
    I hope she's here to stay.

    She pirouettes across the room.
    I wish you could have seen her.
    Mere words pale in comparison to
    My tiny ballerina.




    Submitted on 2006-01-25 10:32:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      I loe the line about a tragic little figure, so cute and conveys the frailty of her. Beautiful... reminds me of my daughter, who is five and as grown up as could be.

    IK
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice!
    Reminds me of a couple young ladies I know.
    I like the entire thing and you did a wonderful job with the wording and flow and your friend should be proud to have at least one person in their life think so highly of them that they would write a nice ode such as this.

    Good stuff maynard!
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really beautifukl write
    This write automatically brings one back to beautiful childhood memories
    I really liked the way you worded this
    Very Nice Job
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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