Hey, I agree with the other posts, this is an excellent write! In all honesty, when I start reading it, I reached the part of bambi and I stopped reading it, just to take a sneak peak at the bottom and see if it was infact worth reading. I'm not sure why, but that stanza just took me right out of there. However, after seeing the comment, I went back up again and read through the entire thing, and it was infact a worth while read. I don't know what it is about the stanza really, I guess it was just different, not as deep as the rest of the poem; I love disney movies, but maybe they're not the best thing to bring in. lol. Anyway, over all though, it was really good and I hope to see more from you!
my god, after i read this i just sat there in shock because it's so good... and i'm serious here, i'm not just trying to get on your good side. *bows to aki* you my darling, are a genius. this is my favorite stanza:
"when the taxi comes and death is the driver do we ask him to stop to sightsee?"
the only thing that threw me off was the stanza where you talk about bambi... it doesn't really fit with the rest of the piece, in my mind at least.
dude, this is going in my favorites... you've done an awesome job aki!
Great ideas and formatt.Picture painting,writer and artist.I liked... *A child gives a cry in the night Another monster at the door And when she grows she will learn That monsters come in all shapes and forms And what doesn’t kill or break you Will make you stronger someday And yet once you allow it to hurt you In such a soulful way…. Maybe you allowed it to take over you And you can never win* its true.