What is this I feel?
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Description:
Eh....it's not my best but yeah...at least I tried. I wrote this because my girlfriend dumped me...That's a bad word...I guess I still can't get over her. Help me out guys...with the write and forgetting her....
What is this I feel?
What is this I feel? This pain of mind this weight of heart Ecstasy removed from life Elixer purged from souls Poison instilled in love I allowed myself to love I would've done anything for you I even left becuase you asked I won't fight I'm too weak love saps my strength Remember me as I try to forget you the few times we loved Forget me as I try to remember what happiness is like What is this I feel an emptiness inside a weakness of soul Poison destroying spirit Pain killing love Elixer purged from life It's the lack of love it's the death of souls it's the coma of life |
Submitted on 2006-01-25 12:31:41 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| I can feel your feelings in this, and I think, as I read your words, my own heart was breaking a little. there were a few minor spelling errors, but that's easily fixable. I am sorry your girlfriend dumped you. It always sucks having your heart broken. But, know, you're not alone. ~Torie | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by lebeauvide | [ Reply to This ] | What is this I feel? | This pain of mind this weight of heart Ecstasy removed from life Elixer purged from souls Poison instilled in love I like these stanzas, they flow nicely. I allowed myself to love I would've done anything for you I even left becuase you asked I won't fight I'm too weak love saps my strength But these are a bit forced, they don't fit in the same way. It's too bad you fall in love so easily. | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by Augustine | [ Reply to This ] | Sorry, for what was bestowed upon you...(getting dumped). Dont worry youll get over her eventually, right? The thing is when one really digs another person, it's hard to just erase them from your memory. I really like the organized format here. | | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ] | I think that the first 3 stanzas could be edited but the rest flowed really well and meant alot.. | Pretty good.. Amber | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ] | i can totally relate to this and i think al ot of people will. i liek this a lot. its emotional and i know everyone hurts from abroken heart at least once. you'll get over it. keep up the great work. | love tina | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ] | i love the way u expressed ur self...i know how ur feeling rite now coz i'm feeling the same way. get over someone isnt easy... and like u i cant seem to get over this guy i like...i wnat to but i cant... neway i loved your work and keep it up. | karen. | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by submarine | [ Reply to This ] | OUCH. You can feel the pain in this. I liked it a lot though. In some ways I can relate. Love is a strange thing, no matter what you do or what happens its what keeps us alive, what keeps us going. Keep writing, I liked this one. | | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by nasuka | [ Reply to This ] | |
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