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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To live and love and losedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 727
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 850



    Description:
       Haven't we all been through this? I don't know...lately people are just sad and I know that I am in the best place I can be and I am just thankful that I have my boyfriend and that he is so awesome to me and that he doesn't make me go through this pain.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo live and love and losedots
    -------------------------------------------


    with passion she screams inside her head
    she can feel her empty heart
    how uselessly it rotts inside her
    if only she could throw it away
    she sits down to think
    and becomes tangled in memories
    she's sick now
    she remembers that she's alone
    frustrated and angry
    with deep shades of red to emphasize her pain
    crying with empty blues that cut into her fair cheeks
    she tells herself that life's not fair
    and she knows there is absolutely nothing she can do
    there's no pill for a broken heart
    she's already tried
    no glass of wine or lines of coke can drown her or make her feel numb enough to effectively deal with life
    she's human
    she's alone
    she's self destructing with nothing but her pain




    Submitted on 2006-01-25 12:44:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wonderful poem. I could see the female just sitting in the rain with her heart just rotting out of her chest. It was a very powerful poem in that it used a lot of good imagry and that it appeals to something we all have known, heartache. You did a wonderful job here...
    ...Jessie
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      Not sure what to say.I liked it.Yeah I guess weve all been there or are there.Your writings are good,ideas fit the format.Emily Dickenson and Edgar Allan Poe would have liked it Ide say as Im sure theyve seen this.ladiesplanet1 has a point.later and keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by nosferotu_gurl | [ Reply to This ]
      A broken heart is the worst illness you can have...I believe. I was wondering...why do you write a lot of poems about being alone and in pain? I really hope they have no present references. In a way, I can relate to this instead of the "she" part. Now tell me...did I get this poem right or did I screw up again?
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      I think I might need a glass of wine. I copied down that last poem you posted and I've read it about a million times. This one is good, but it just can't compare to the last one. It makes me happy. Well, as happy as I can be. Go have some cheese...
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. There is a lot of feeling put into it. There is just one line that threw me off.

    "no glass of wine or lines of coke can drown her or make her feel numb enough to effectively deal with life"

    I felt that it was too long, and broke apart the flow. But other than that, I really liked this poem. It was well put. And I, as the reader, could feel your pain. Nice job. :)
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by invisiblerose | [ Reply to This ]
      wopw. i like this and i feel as if all i can say is wow. keep it up. i really hope to read more by you soon. i can totally relate...minus the lines of coke. drugs are great... just learn to control them. but i'm 17 so of course i would say that.
    love tina
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      nice... great write... it does relate to a lot of us i'm sure... i guess at some point of time everyone feels this way. i like the way u have brought out the emotion. keep it up.

    karen
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by submarine | [ Reply to This ]
      Awwww...she needs a hug!
    I know whatcha mean about reading day in and day out about this topic. Sometimes its her own fault, sometimes its his fault...but it sure is nice when you are in the position you are in the description. It makes you go..."whew!"

    I think rotts should only have one T in it. Other than that, it was a great expression.

    no glass of wine or lines of coke can drown her or make her feel numb enough to effectively deal with life

    Very well stated!
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Emotion. This is packed with it. I really liked this. Its going to my favorites. I hate the feeling of being alone. It is the worst pain to be endured by one person. Im sorry you have to feel this way. Keep writing, you have talent.
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by nasuka | [ Reply to This ]


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