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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Maskdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: submarine
    Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 128/91/45
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1303
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 630



    Description:
       this poem i wrote in very emotional state of mind and its bout hurtin inside but not really showin others that u hurt.... feel free to comment .


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Maskdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Facing the crowd
    she stands,
    With her smile
    she fools.
    Pretending to be happy
    she lives,
    But behind her mask
    she hides.
    Pulling herself together
    she'll be strong,
    Burying her heart
    she will move on.
    She'll stop living
    just to live again,
    The mask she'll wear
    over and over again.
    The tears will flow
    to flood her heart,
    The pain will grow
    and never stop.
    Hiding behind the mask
    her feelings dont show,
    And of her broken heart
    this world will never know.




    Submitted on 2006-01-25 13:58:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow! This is such a deep and personal poem and to a lot of people life seems to be viewed from behind a mask. Whether it be because exposing everything is too painful or it provides a very safe and comforting place, this whole idea is very real. "She'll stop living
    just to live again" for some reason that line hit me and this poem really has a certain distinctness about it. It flows well and comes across dynamically. Great Job.
    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by ERA | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey,

    The whole idea of a mask covering the feelings is something everyone can realte to even myself at times. I would say more but it looks like everything has already been covered.

    *Let it Flow*
    Raven
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by Silent_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
      Everything I would like to say has already been said by others, but I just wanted to say that this is a very good poem ! Wearing a mask to hide your feelings ... I can relate, many people do. And the part where she stops living so she can live again ... Brilliant ! A very emotional poem, very well done ! Keep it up.
    Tom
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by Tom110989 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow Im speakless! Your words reflect so much of what I myself have felt and have captured the feeling so perfectly. The flow is great and this poem deffinitly is going into my favorites. The one and only thing I can say you might want to do to change it is break it into stanzas beens the punctuation is already there but in reality it doesnt really matter the poem is amazing!
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Alura | [ Reply to This ]
      this feels so very honest and raw as i read it... it just grabs my heart...

    "She'll stop living
    just to live again,"

    those two lines... i can't tell you how they hit me... it's as if they're the words that describe me at this very moment.

    this one holds so much emotion... i just can't say enough...

    BRAVO.
    -angela
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by adw | [ Reply to This ]
      This sounds like you tapped into my mind and read little past moments etched into my skull or something. I could relate so, so much to this and I enjoyed your write very much.
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice job on this :) It moved quite smoothly. You were good at describing how she really felt, but were able to keep us knowing that it is hidden. I like it. You have quite the talent. :)
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by invisiblerose | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this piece alot and i think that a lot of people will be able to relate to this. i know i can relate. i feel as if you wrote my life out for me keep up the amazingly awesome work
    love
    tina
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice, the pattern of everyother line reffering back to 'she' creates a very strong rythem. Im not sure about the increase in length of lines as the poem progresses as I feel it detracts from the pace. But overall a very good write.

    Smee
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by Smee | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey! This is really good! I'm totaly adding it to my favorites list. I can't write much because I'm doing this secretly in my history class. Well I had better go before I get a detention...again:).

    Karen
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by kp_2007 | [ Reply to This ]


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