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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Adream of Sunsetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653



    Description:
       A trip to dreamland via the sun ~*~

    Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share
    tif


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAdream of Sunsetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Aglow the Gleaming
    Brilliance
    framed of rejoicing
    trees ~*~

    Adrift in the light
    so uplifting
    Afloat the
    breeze ~*~

    Adventure beckons
    a swim in Life's
    lake

    Birds of experience
    sing,
    "IT's" all we
    make ~*~

    A Soul born
    of freedom
    not
    time ~*~

    Inspire the Muse
    be poetic love
    in rhyme ~*~

    All exhaulted
    within
    take a dream
    atop clouds ~*~

    Peacefully veiled
    in fables and
    shrouds ~*~




    Submitted on 2006-01-25 14:15:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have dreams. 100% of the time they are uber weird. 3% of the time they are weird....so in total...103% of my dreams are weird and uber weird.

    I like sunsets. Those hues that burn into my retinas fill me with glee.

    Glad
    Love
    Exits
    Effusive

    I am exuberant. Position the turnstile!

    This poem is good. I wish the trees would let me climb them. Aaaah...air is floating through my fingers!

    Freedom is a good word. Freedom is the only word. All languages have risen from the word 'Freedom'.

    Freedom = all languages = all cultures = all world + slavery = noooooooooo! tears!

    Birds are super super super super cool! I wish I could fly. I stare at them with envy! ENVY! GIVE ME WINGS!

    Keep up the good work tiff. "IT" is all really good.
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece was really relaxing, when I was reading it I was in a very stressed mood and it made my whole soul seem to lift. It gave me a floating feeling; probably because of the way you worded it and how short it was as if I was falling towards the ground. I liked it. I also liked the ~ I thought they looked interesting as if you were trying to add pictures or an invisable art form inside your poem!

    Keep up the good work.
    ~Britt.
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by winterdove | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, I really liked this poem. My favorite was the first stanza...I just loved the way you worded it; framed of rejoicing trees. This definitly painted a good picture in my head. Great work!
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Raindrops | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful
    I felt as if I was boarding a plan ready to take off and see the journey of your life
    Very beautiful and perfectly poetically put
    I always enjoy reading your posts
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a lovely poem. Once again you have captured the essence of nature in this most delightful poem. It reads so carefree and effortlessly and the rhyme here is quite good. Your outlook is just as light and airy as this poem and you express yourself wonderfully with your words. You have taken us on a soothing journey to dreamland with this one. Lovely. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Heya Tif!

    I enjoyed this piece for several reasons:
    1) the simplistic stanzas made it quick and easy to read.
    2) the words you chose fit together very nicely so as to keep the simplistic nature of the piece from detracting from it's overall effect.
    3) you chose to appreciate the sunset not as a point in time or existance but instead as an emotional and mental experience instead of something witnessed.
    4) The way you used quick stanzas allowed the piece to flow in an almost whimsical manner that made it a piece that the reader feels as they are reading, at least i did!

    all in all a beautiful piece and thank ou for sharing!

    Meow!
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by lynxstarfire | [ Reply to This ]
      Loved the feel, but didn't care too much for the last verse. The picture was in my head ~~~...sorry lost in thought, he he, until the end. I was there, but was lost in the end. Definately liked it tho. As always keep urself in tune.
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm...a little too vague and unreassuring. Good sentiments and images but there seems to be a hint of being quite elegant and excellent that seems to be lacking in this one. The words are just on the verge of grasping it and expressing IT, but just fall short by one smidgen of a car length. I see and feel the sentiments and expressions of what you are trying to say but it seems like its being held back for a reason that can only be questioned.

    Also, why not the ~*~ at the end of the third stanza like all the others? Short term memory loss, laziness or a specific reason?

    Very "dreamy" though...
    Thanks for sharing a sun inspired "trip"
    Hee-hee!
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Dreams can be retropective
    But they can also make you see
    What's happening in the here and now
    And what perhaps will be.

    I liked your poem.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      First off, the poem was pretty good. The words to describe did there job. But, yup, a but. the little ~*~ thingy really broke it apart. it was hard to keep reading. I kept stopping and asking my self what is that? Also, I would like to see a better ending to it. I felt like I was left hanging. Like it just kind of ended... Keep up the good work, you can go far :)
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by invisiblerose | [ Reply to This ]
      I did not fully understand it, But I love the way it sounded. I was mesmerized by the flow and rhyme scheme. I think you came up with another well written piece. I think this was like being in a dream state as I read it. Very good job.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this one. The flow was beautiful throughout. You have shown a very unique stanza structure and the rhyming was perfect. Nice write ... thanks for sharing. :o)-oixi
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by oixi | [ Reply to This ]


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