This piece was really relaxing, when I was reading it I was in a very stressed mood and it made my whole soul seem to lift. It gave me a floating feeling; probably because of the way you worded it and how short it was as if I was falling towards the ground. I liked it. I also liked the ~ I thought they looked interesting as if you were trying to add pictures or an invisable art form inside your poem!
This is a lovely poem. Once again you have captured the essence of nature in this most delightful poem. It reads so carefree and effortlessly and the rhyme here is quite good. Your outlook is just as light and airy as this poem and you express yourself wonderfully with your words. You have taken us on a soothing journey to dreamland with this one. Lovely. Take care.
I enjoyed this piece for several reasons: 1) the simplistic stanzas made it quick and easy to read. 2) the words you chose fit together very nicely so as to keep the simplistic nature of the piece from detracting from it's overall effect. 3) you chose to appreciate the sunset not as a point in time or existance but instead as an emotional and mental experience instead of something witnessed. 4) The way you used quick stanzas allowed the piece to flow in an almost whimsical manner that made it a piece that the reader feels as they are reading, at least i did!
all in all a beautiful piece and thank ou for sharing!
Loved the feel, but didn't care too much for the last verse. The picture was in my head ~~~...sorry lost in thought, he he, until the end. I was there, but was lost in the end. Definately liked it tho. As always keep urself in tune.
Hmmm...a little too vague and unreassuring. Good sentiments and images but there seems to be a hint of being quite elegant and excellent that seems to be lacking in this one. The words are just on the verge of grasping it and expressing IT, but just fall short by one smidgen of a car length. I see and feel the sentiments and expressions of what you are trying to say but it seems like its being held back for a reason that can only be questioned.
Also, why not the ~*~ at the end of the third stanza like all the others? Short term memory loss, laziness or a specific reason?
Very "dreamy" though... Thanks for sharing a sun inspired "trip" Hee-hee!
First off, the poem was pretty good. The words to describe did there job. But, yup, a but. the little ~*~ thingy really broke it apart. it was hard to keep reading. I kept stopping and asking my self what is that? Also, I would like to see a better ending to it. I felt like I was left hanging. Like it just kind of ended... Keep up the good work, you can go far :)
I did not fully understand it, But I love the way it sounded. I was mesmerized by the flow and rhyme scheme. I think you came up with another well written piece. I think this was like being in a dream state as I read it. Very good job.