Description: another one i'm gonna submit to the riverbend review.
blacker than night -------------------------------------------
Outside swimming in an ocean of darkness
A heart of gold
Body falling apart since my spiritís been tarnished
Soul being sold
To those who paint them like artists
Out of control
Because those in the shadows always take it the farthest
Different colors and shades
Envelop the world in its own likeness remade
So the masters get devoured by slaves
Racing to graves
People are living to die
They resist the need or urge to be saved
Seriously considering lies
Suicidal kids we degrade
Look in our eyes
Making all of our confidence fade
Those who are wise
Are the ones failing each grade
Snakes devoured by flies
So we bury our kinsmen with spades
You canít tell your left from your right
Lost the enthusiasm we had for the fight
Eyes without sight
Because our souls are blacker than night
hey troy! how is troy? u beta be good troy! anyway this waz amazingly um... wats the well my mom says somber! ya um... ok nvm! it sounds like some of ur old stuff! good job my mom likes the last stanza! bye bye! ~akaila~
Troy, you are showing more of your poetic side. Your message was bold and insightful. I would love to see you do some poetry in a set form, besides free verse. I think you have a certain style that can be seen in all your rap work. And, from what it seems, it can be seen in your poetry. That's good. I hope this win the contest, when you send this off. Good job.
Call me obssesed but I am stalking you after all, so dont be suprised if I read all your work. I cant resist, I try to control myself and say lemme give space, but na...imma smuther your site with comments. I like this one alot. Im begining to notice your more poetic side. For instance, your raps are soundin' a little more like poems. Which is a good thing, you can work many ways with your talent. I hope you do good with sendin' it out again. catch ya later babe.
WOW, another one that blew me away. I loved all of the deepness of the emotion. My favorite part was "snakes devoured by flies" Great write, and if I didn't know that this was a rap I would consider it probably one of the best poems on this site. And good luck with the riverbend review accepting this one. Although I don't why they wouldn't. Great job! Alyssa
interesting yet true at the same time. as with most of your work. do u think ur soul blacker than night i dont think it is but if u do u need 2 stop. i like the way u painted this. i even started 2 imagine stars jk but u still did well. Hey so yeah i posted u should check it out. Um in ur comment tell me if it made it in the mag!