Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fire and Icedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 335
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 534
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2070



    Description:
       I sat thinking about how I was two completely different people with the two guys I've been intimate with. With Tony, I was heat and energy, and I would curl up around him like a kitten. With Mark I was cold, and I pushed him away afterwards. I just felt like writing about it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFire and Icedots
    -------------------------------------------


    She adhered herself to the curves of his body,
    Curling up beside him on the bed.
    He pulled her close, caressed her face,
    And placed a kiss on the top of her head.
    She purred like a well fed kitten,
    Basking in the warmth of his desire.
    She surrendered to the touch of his hands,
    They proved deadlier than any fire.

    She melted as fluidly as a block of ice
    In contact with the heat of the sun.
    She let her heart decide.
    It said he was the one.
    He found the beauty hidden in side her heart,
    He polished it till it gleamed.
    He grew cold, and left her alone
    With nothing but shattered dreams.

    She subjected her mouth to his kisses,
    Her heart hidden deep inside.
    She somehow managed to feign pleasure
    At the touch of his hands on her thighs.
    She worked so hard to hide her disgust
    At the thought of him crawling over her skin
    When it was over, she pushed him away,
    Swore it would never happen again.

    She turned to ice as a tray of water
    Left outside to freeze.
    Her heart belonged to just one man
    And nothing else could please.
    So she did the things she had to do
    To get the things she lacked.
    And in her frozen heart she knew
    That it would bring him back.

    She surrendered her ice to the heat of his lust,
    Succumbed to the power of his lips.
    She drank deeply of his overwhelming desire
    His warmth lingered on her fingertips.
    Later, she wrapped her body in his arms,
    And melted into his skin.
    He wasn't hers, but she knew
    That she would have him again.

    She melted like the sweetest popsicle
    Caressed by a diligent tongue.
    She gave of herself with an abandon
    Exclusive of the young.
    She knew in her heart that she loved him,
    And in his way, he loved her too.
    She could never love another.
    Only he would do.




    Submitted on 2006-01-26 09:54:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The imagery in this poem is very specific which I enjoy because it actually lets me relate to you and your experience, Tony obviously let you feel positive feelings and it is freeing whereas there is always the empty intimacy that Mark brought out in you, we are all capable of this
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by BrokenStream | [ Reply to This ]
      This is another amazing poem. To say all thats in your heart and compare these two people so well and have it have good rhythem and flow is hard to do. I really like your work and will be watching for more.
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by Alura | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a beautiful poem. I loved the comparisons. The way you conveyed Tony as the fire, the one which you had a passionate and meaningful relationship with: And Mark as ice, because he was used more to numb your pain. I loved the metaphors here. The imagery was wonderfully clever.
    ...Jessie
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good. Kept my attention. The comparison of fire and ice was right on. I've read "fire and ice" poems before and was expecting more of the same but this was unique and interesting. I enjoyed the read.

    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a nice compare and contrast. Very well written and great flow. It is amazing how you can be so different with different people. Chemistry, baby!

    IK
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    88922

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    To written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Linger written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry