Paper Mache Murderer by Daigonarigormor

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Submission Name: Paper Mache Murderer dots

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Author:	Daigonarigormor
ASL Info:	15/f/Salem, Mass.
Elite Ratio:	4.06 - 9/12/2
Words:	75

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	143
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	509

Description:

Paper Mache Murderer dots

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paper mache emotion,
still wet with glue,
is the only thing i see
when i look at you.

Pretender of the heart
you set yourself a goal
taking and raping,
the purity of the soul.

transparent liar
your intentions are clear
i see it in your eyes
and sense it when you are near.

paper mache murderer
stabbed and bleeding on the floor
your lies and deception
will hurt innocents no more.

Submitted on 2006-01-26 15:32:08 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Author: Daigonarigormor
ASL Info: 15/f/Salem, Mass.

Elite Ratio: 4.2 - 9/11/2
Words: 75
Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
Total Views: 30
Average Vote: No vote yet.
Bytes: 509

Commentary type requested: Thoughts
[ Recent comments given by Daigonarigormor. ]

Description:

Paper Mache Murderer
-------------------------------------------

paper mache emotion,
still wet with glue,
is the only thing i see
when i look at you.

Pretender of the heart
you set yourself a goal
taking and raping,
the purity of the soul.

transparent liar
your intentions are clear
i see it in your eyes
and sense it when you are near.

paper mache murderer
stabbed and bleeding on the floor
your lies and deception
will hurt innocents no more.

Submitted on 2006-01-26 15:32:08 Terms of Service / © Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
[ Edit ] [ Delete ]
nice write.

paper mache - what a great image.

"and sense it when you are near" - this is good. it's like they cannot hide from their "crimes" and the end has been met...
| Posted on 2006-01-27 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ] [ PM ]

[ Edit ] [ Delete ]
liek your wordinig... very good job
you managed to make it very powerful in such few words
my favou rite verse wa s defin ately
"Pretender of the heart
you set yourself a goal
taking and raping,
the purity of the soul."

simply amazing
can see a talent in you
thanks for sharing this dark write
john**
| Posted on 2006-01-27 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ] [ PM ]

[ Edit ] [ Delete ]
I read this earlier today and had to skeedadle in mid comment, but I just had to come back and read it again without distraction and say:

F*ck an A powerful write! Its purity and lack of pity for the flaw of someone saying and trying to be something they are not just for the fact of trying to be accepted by others is beyond a shadow of a doubt just "there" in this piece. The whole write was flawless as far as its structure and content and the message fits with those things we all think yet seldom ever say concept. I really liked this one.

| Posted on 2006-01-26 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ] [ PM ]

[ Edit ] [ Delete ]
Wow, that ia very dark and very welll written. I can't say anything bad about this at all. I loved it! It is absolutly appalling and wonderful...

IK
| Posted on 2006-01-26 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ] [ PM ]

[ Edit ] [ Delete ]
Very descpritive and powerful in words. This was great in flow and in ryhming! You used the fragile paper of mache and made it into a something deadly, meaning that even something fragile can hurt you. This had a victim no more feel. And I praise the clarity you speak of to see how this person was decietful. Very strong and vivid poem. Great job!

Maggie
| Posted on 2006-01-26 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ] [ PM ]

[ Edit ] [ Delete ]
That's gorgeous. I love it.
It's dark and gloomy (Everything I like in a poem ).
The title made me want to read it, and I'm really glad I did.
Very creative.
The rhyming and descriptions and flow are all perfect.
Great job

-nikkki
| Posted on 2006-01-26 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ] [ PM ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

1414302535

| Posted on 2006-06-07 00:00:00 | by misty_of_moon | [ Reply to This ]
  nice write.

paper mache - what a great image.

"and sense it when you are near" - this is good. it's like they cannot hide from their "crimes" and the end has been met...
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]
  liek your wordinig... very good job
you managed to make it very powerful in such few words
my favou rite verse wa s defin ately
"Pretender of the heart
you set yourself a goal
taking and raping,
the purity of the soul."

simply amazing
can see a talent in you
thanks for sharing this dark write
john**
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
  I read this earlier today and had to skeedadle in mid comment, but I just had to come back and read it again without distraction and say:

F*ck an A powerful write! Its purity and lack of pity for the flaw of someone saying and trying to be something they are not just for the fact of trying to be accepted by others is beyond a shadow of a doubt just "there" in this piece. The whole write was flawless as far as its structure and content and the message fits with those things we all think yet seldom ever say concept. I really liked this one.

| Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, that ia very dark and very welll written. I can't say anything bad about this at all. I loved it! It is absolutly appalling and wonderful...

IK
| Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ]
  Very descpritive and powerful in words. This was great in flow and in ryhming! You used the fragile paper of mache and made it into a something deadly, meaning that even something fragile can hurt you. This had a victim no more feel. And I praise the clarity you speak of to see how this person was decietful. Very strong and vivid poem. Great job!

Maggie
| Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  That's gorgeous. I love it.
It's dark and gloomy (Everything I like in a poem ).
The title made me want to read it, and I'm really glad I did.
Very creative.
The rhyming and descriptions and flow are all perfect.
Great job

-nikkki
| Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]

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