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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Foot Asleepdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 888
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 454



    Description:
       I was put on antidepressants when i wa 13, and they did me no good other than helping me sleep, but I'm thinking of going back on them so that I can sleep. This is in the same vein as These Pills Kill My Soul, but I wrote it from the persepctive of a 13-year-old.


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    dotsA Foot Asleepdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The doctors
    want to drug me into smiling,
    drug me into sleeping.
    They want me to take my pills
    like a good little girl,
    but the pills
    are as effective as sawdust.
    I feel as much as a stone.
    I don't smile
    and sleep too much.
    I don't think
    like a good girl.
    I'd rather be sad
    than for my whole body
    to feel like a foot asleep.





    Submitted on 2004-04-29 05:57:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      great analogy, i know a girl who feels or i think now felt the same way, this is a great write, i love the lines

    But the pills
    Are as effective as sawdust

    that analogy was great

    keep it up!
    | Posted on 2004-04-29 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      seems like that's all they want to do, drug you up instead of dealing with what is actually going on. i like the way you described the feeling like a foot asleep. that's a great metaphor. and the way you wrote "effective as sawdust" was very original, and i could just feel the sawdust slipping through my fingers. great write, dumplin! i'd rather see you feeling, whatever that is, than be a foot asleep, too!
    | Posted on 2004-04-29 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Poetry is a great anti-depressant. If taken according to prescription. Most want to force it up their nose though, too bad... This is a great description of the way the psychiatrist gets things messed up by seeking a chemical solution to a spiritual problem. Any feeling is better than having to drag a sleeping, dead leg around - that numb feeling of not being there. Aagh, the closest I've come is when I sometimes wake up feeling "absent". "Good little girl"? I dunno, needs a fresher analogy I think, but otherwise good.
    | Posted on 2004-04-30 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      Amy, don't take the pills. i sure am interested to know the origin of your sadness fixation, not that i've been without one myself. this piece, its below your par, but not bad. In fact, its far better than most of my crap. But I'd sure love to see you write about something else. This isnt the kind of poetry that' fun to read.
    | Posted on 2004-04-30 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]


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