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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: sha la ladots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet sorenity
    ASL Info:    24/f/ Ga
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 211/221/58
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 784
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 652



    Description:
       its pure shit belive me absolute shit if i wwere you i wouldnt even bother to read it.

    all my new stuff is shit , almost as bad as match box 20 or even creed


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssha la ladots
    -------------------------------------------


    traces of glitter across the wall.
    as you here the voices call.
    take a breth and close your eyes.
    do you even remember any of their lies?

    i didnt think so

    then why do you want this
    with us you will have pure bliss
    dont fret
    theirs nothing to regret

    hummmm

    i see that smile trying to shine through
    its so simple to see
    you cant hide what your about to do
    i will let you be

    or will i

    follow the traces
    forget all our faces
    you'v got no way back home
    but your far from alone




    Submitted on 2006-01-26 17:04:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It made me smile, probably because you described it as [censored]! I didn't think it was [censored], it made me smile and after a six hour shift at work that's all I ask!
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by irvine_valentin | [ Reply to This ]
      Sorenity,

    Nice...very nice. It was a mysterious piece at first but after reading it again I got the understanding. You are talking to someone. Seems like your lover or someone you desire to love. One mispelled word. Breth should be "breath". I make mistakes too. Smile lady...smile. You're not perfect. Just perfected by your corrections. This stanza really stands out:

    i see that smile trying to shine through
    its so simple to see
    you cant hide what your about to do
    i will let you be

    That stanza makes me wonder if there is more to come. It is an eye catcher that keeps things interesting.
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by B-Gentle | [ Reply to This ]


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