Your Blood-shot Eyes by sweet-fire

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Submission Name: Your Blood-shot Eyes dots

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Author:	sweet-fire
ASL Info:	21/f/ky
Elite Ratio:	3.8 - 296/279/42
Words:	138

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	181
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	871

Description:
well-feedback would be nice. a while ago this was a real problem with my future husband and i. most of you will most likely think that this is dumb and childish but if you could take a walk in my shoes as a child you would really understand. and just so you all know-my baby loved me enough to quit and we are very happy now!

Your Blood-shot Eyes dots

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You walk in the room,
with those blood-shot eyes.
You lay back and relax,
Ignoring my cries.

Cross your arms-
and prop up your feet.
Lean up to smoke-
and fall out of your seat.

I try really hard,
to not call you names.
But looking at your eyes...
makes me go insane.

I want to scream,
and kick your ass!
But i love you,
and want us to last.

I try to ignore it.
To forget that i care.
But the tears still form,
as you just sit there.

You know how it hurts me.
Its always in my eyes.
Ive asked you to stop-
but you wont even try.

This is how you love me.
And its exactly how ill die.
Looking up at your face,
into your blood-shot eyes.

Submitted on 2006-01-26 19:55:41 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  this is kind of deep....at first it made me say wow, and then it made me say WOOOOOW! loL! anyways nice poem, so much feeling! the message is clear, its clear that someone you love may be doing something you do not love so much. this poem reminds me of the poem i wrote for my friend keith, he was on lots of drugs and he was so baked at times you couldn't even talk to him, anyways nice poem it has a lot of felling, good job! -saragrace-
| Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by Kornfreakinabox | [ Reply to This ]
  nice way of describing the problem, with the Title. I fond of the way you express the way you hate what he does, but can't let go, because you love him so much. That's good he stopped, Problems that aren't stopped to seem only to get worse, but um...it was well written,
no mistakes, or atleast i didn't see any. It's hard to see a Loved one waste away, you do anything for them to say, as I've experienced this. It's pretty heart breaking
| Posted on 2006-02-03 00:00:00 | by rAbit | [ Reply to This ]
  i know exactly how you feel. Member how I couldnt understand why you got so pissed at him for smoking weed? Yeah, well, mine does that and i didnt think that i had a prob with it until he did it in front of me or did it and then came in the room with me and put his hands all over me...I dunno...it does kinda hurt, alot...I understand now and im sorry i didnt before.

->Dark Angel

aka

YOUR WIFE :P
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a really beautiful and deep write where you take your reader for a trip down memory lane
I have had my battles with hardcore drugs and I am happy to see I am no longer in need of them to find Love
I saw you said your soulmate know longer does drugs
Praise God
God Bless
Ron

Please if you get a chance please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Awww...how sad! Its hard to love let alone live with someone when they have a dependancy on alchohol and/or drugs. HOw quick they can go from a recreation to a feeling of being 'needed' in a persons life.
I think your write was very enlightening. Thanks for sharing!

| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  I thought about alcoholism when I thought of this. I had to deal with this with my boyfriend, and your words echoed mine. Those were silent words mind you, because they spoken ones were just as unheard. He has cut back drastically, and holds a really great job now. I could relate to this so much, it was scary. I wrote about bad habits as well. Check out my poems Addiction and Third Party. This was very deep and personal, and I'm sure at that time hard to write. You just help others to see they are not alone. I commend you on that. Great job.

Maggie
| Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow! This is awesome. I had a boyfriend who smoked pot all the time when I was a teen. I hated it... the smell, the droned out look, the blood shot eyes, everything about it. He never quit for me,though and so we broke up.

About the poem, the flow is wonderful. I did not stumble whatsoever while reading it and the message is clear enough for everyone to understand, yet complex enough to be interesting. There was a mispelled word in the fith stanza, I believe you meant still, not sill.

Other than that, the work is perfect just the way it is...

IK
| Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ]

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