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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Chapter 3, Final justicedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Clayton
    ASL Info:    55/Country Boy/Somewhere
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 880/809/193
    Words: 1277
    Class/Type: Story/Comedy
    Total Views: 299
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 6580



    Description:
       Bear with me, some day, all will be forgotten and we will become lifelong friends.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChapter 3, Final justicedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Chapter 3, Final Justice

    I believe most all the girls in town were madder at us than the hornets on the cabin. The big nest was all repaired, in several days it was bigger than ever. Several of us waited until nightfall, and then we went to replace the windows in the cabin.
    Our flashlight needed to be used sparingly, because the bees swarmed to find the light. Our first attempt to put in a window was foiled by hundreds of bees coming to check out the noises beside the lighted portion of the broken nest. Sitting in total darkness barely breathing, we waited until the buzzing became quiet.
    Fred sent Ronald, another neighbor, to hold the light from down on the ground. He was not to put direct light on the nest. Quickly I stood the glass panel into the opening and started to replace the little nails that held it in place. Ronnie then kept flashing the light from the nest to the window. Soon hundreds of angry hornets were buzzing across the glass, and we were frozen, holding the glass in place. He thought it was funny the bees were tormenting us.
    Those bees were upset at being awakened by a bright light. It was not long until they followed the light beam to its source, Ronnie’s hand. We laughed as screams of pain came from below, and watched as the light was tossed into the weeds. Ronnie disappeared and it was assumed he went home. Now in total darkness once more, we sat to consider our options. The light was essential to our task, but we could still see hundreds of bees around the flashlight in the grass.
    The One who kept all of us from killing each other was watching again. A big dark cloud had just cleared from the sky, and the moon smiled down to say hello. John, Ronald’s little brother grabbed the second window and placed it in the hole, and I replaced the nails. We scampered down the rope and released the latch to close the trap door. It was decided to come get the flashlight in the morning.
    It was bedtime, but where was Ronnie?

    Ronnie’s shoes were not on the porch where they should have been. John knew to go in the house wearing shoes was a definite no-no. So, off we went into the wild blue yonder, no; off we went to find Ronald.
    Back to the cabin we went, he must be there somewhere!
    “Ronnie” we called in a quiet tone, but there was no answer. John cupped his hands to make a megaphone and turned it each direction saying “Ronnie, Ronnie where are you”. There was no answer.
    I looked over at the light in the weeds, there were only two bees still buzzing by the lens. I prodded it with a stick and they attacked the stick. But I had an idea!
    Taking another stick, I stuck it into the little ring at the bottom of the light. And then with the first stick I slid the little button to off. I waited until all the buzzing quieted and pulled the light towards me with the first stick. We listened intently until the bees had gone home.
    I grabbed it and off we went into the wild blue yonder, no; to the swimming hole.
    Everybody knows when bees attack you, that jumping in water will scare them away. Ronnie must be in Willow Creek. With the help of the light we made our way down the crooked path from the shed to the creek.
    What we had not realized, was the commotion caused by fixing the windows had been noticed by Nancy. She
    lived very close to the tree cabin; it was in her back yard. We must have been very loud because we woke
    her from sleeping.
    Later we found out she watched us put in the first window, and she listened to us talk over our how to fool the hornets. She watched Ronnie hold the light and saw him run away. Ronnie was hiding in the shed.
    Nancy pulled on her clothes and sneaked into the shed to talk to Ronald. As John and I returned up the path after not finding Ron in the creek, she pushed over the old door behind us and screamed.
    I tossed the light and John and I went separate directions home.

    The next day Nancy rode her bicycle all around town with my light tied to her handle bars. She claimed it as hers, “Finders keepers, looser weepers,” she cried and rode away laughing. The cabin windows were fixed, that was more important.
    It was not long until everyone was asking how Nancy got my flashlight! I told the whole story and added I must have dropped it running from the bees.
    Nancy was telling a different story, to everyone she met. She made sure people knew she scared the life out of us. According to her we were whiter than ghosts running down the road. She described us as looking like porch lights on legs. All the girls in town were asking, “Seen any ghosts lately,” and then laugh at us calling us chickens and “scare-de-cats”.
    Embarrassed, was an understatement but one we would overcome.
    While swimming, I explained to all the guys what really happened. They poked some fun at me and we all laughed together knowing the cabin was fixed.
    Soon swimming became great fun and time slipped away, the noon time sun had peeked. Faintly in the distance we could hear John’s mom calling “Dinner”!
    Wadding back to shore and cracking jokes in good fun, we made our way to the old shed. Sliding back the broken door, the light revealed the work bench, without our clothes. We knew they were hidden somewhere, they just needed to be found.
    And up there they were, hanging on a rafter, right beside another huge hornet nest!
    The question remained, how did they do that? Another question was, how did they put our shoes on top of the pile? How could we get them without waiting until nightfall?
    With a long pole from cabins trap door, we slowly knocked off the clothing and shoes. It took several minutes between each try for the bees to settle down. In an hour we were all fully clothed.
    On the walk home we all discovered that those girls had put itching powder all through our shirts, shorts and underwear.
    It was a very warm day!
    On the walk home I passed Wade's house and his bee smoker was sitting on the porch. I yelled out to him to see if he was going to cut down a bee tree.
    "No, the girls wanted to borrow it. They said a big nest of bees was on Nancy's porch steps, and that Barney wanted to get rid of the nest"!
    I was just there, and nobody mentioned any bees, her brother would have told us about them.




    Submitted on 2006-01-27 09:41:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Another amusing part to your story with just a couple of points that you may consider revising if you are going to call the character with the flash Ronnie why introduce him as Ronald. Also, why change between hornets and bees - I would just stick to one. I felt that this was slightly weaker than other parts of this write so here is a rewriting to consider:

    Ronnie, another neighbour was stationed below on the ground with instructions not to direct the light on the nest as being awoken by a bright light would annoy the hornets. I stood the glass panel into the opening and started to replace the little nails that held it in place. Ronnie kept flashing the light from the nest to the window and soon hundreds of angry hornets were buzzing across the glass. We were frozen, holding the glass in place and Ronnie thought the way the hornets were tormenting us was funny until they followed the light beam to its source in Ronnie’s hand. We laughed as screams of pain came from below, and saw the light tossed into the weeds. Ronnie disappeared. We assumed he went home. Now in total darkness once more, we sat to consider our options. Although, essential to our task, hundreds of hornets still swarmed around the flashlight in the grass.

    I hope this helps take or leave what you want.
    Take care
    nessie
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
      wow Clayton...so in the end, the girls won? that sucks, i was hopin the boys would be victorious...dammit. but once again, great capture of the 50's, and the humor was great. the bee's really played a part didn't they? hehe, yeah. itching powder...that sucks. so, you ever find out how they did it? put your clothes next to the hornet nest? seems like a amazing feat to be accomplished. ahh, these stories were great to read, i just can't believe that they won in the end...tell me there's more stories!


    ~Zach~
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by insphered soul | [ Reply to This ]



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