thoughts of lost rhythm by insphered soul

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Submission Name: thoughts of lost rhythm dots

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Author:	insphered soul
ASL Info:	17/M/Bacon Sandwich
Elite Ratio:	6.57 - 450/374/89
Words:	72

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	207
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	459

Description:
well, as most of you can probably tell, im losing my poetry skills........im slipping up.......and this poem is how i feel about it. all criticism is greatly appreciated.....

~Zach~

thoughts of lost rhythm dots

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words flow through my mind
no rhythm is expressed
trying to string them together,
i get nothing but depressed....

poems flowing out like crazy
1, maybe 2 comments, it varies,
a thick fog makes my mind hazy
giving it all up would be scary

emotions go wild like a wirlpool
feelings of shame and pity cross me
like a storm brewing outside,
i cant help but lose my mind

Submitted on 2006-01-27 10:55:52 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  whirlpool*

silly

its good when a poet realizes (s)he is losing touch

its awesome when they write about it

its weird, but when i read your poems i picture you, but i picture you now, the person im in love with, not the immature boy i didnt know. its weird, i cant explain what it feels like

but i definitely picture the hair

oh how i love the hair

you know? i may even write a poem about the hair

*thinks of prospective lines*

*lol*
no

=]

love,
+Moz+
| Posted on 2007-03-17 00:00:00 | by GoKart Mozart | [ Reply to This ]
  Ahhhhh the famous "Block". In some cases it can be a writer's best friend. The thing to do, is do something else for awhile and don't think about it. When you're ready to write it'll come back to you. Just keep both eyes open and the inspiration will come. Trust me, I am in this spot as we speak. I have pressure coming at me from a couple people on this site waiting for me to post and I just can't. When I write I don't pay much attention to form, rhythm, rhyme or any of that...it's all a matter of what my heart is saying at the time. If it rhymes it's completely by accident. My favorite poetry is poetry that just comes pouring out of someone, not something that they think about while they're writing it. It will come across "forced" in a lot of cases and then I personally lose interest. Some people do however get away with being able to do that.

Don't be too hard on yourself and don't try too hard to force yourself to write something. In my opinion, you can't FORCE a masterpiece. Write as you need to and it'll all come back to you! Good luck and I think you are a terrific writer!

Candi
| Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
  Sorry-typo

"if you feel like you CAN'T deal without writing for a while..."

its late, cut me some slack! great, now this thing won't let me post without a certian amount of words. well- maybe this is enough...?
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Sasha Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey-what happened in the last stanza-you had a rhyming thing going and then it just stopped. whatever, rhyme doesn't matter too much to me. don't worry about "losing" your hold on poetry. in my experience, it comes and goes. last year i wrote a total of one poem and one short story. they were kinda good but a whole YEARS worth good? no. then, this year, it all came back. everything started forming itself into a poem or shaping itself into a story. its pretty awful at the time to feel like you are losing such a big part of you but eventualy, you notice less. then, when it comes back, it makes you appreciate just how much you love to do it. if you don't think you can deal without writing for a while, try writting down one word poems. one word on each line of the piece. it wastes a lot of paper but can provide a good skeleton without the stress of rhyme or meter. just some advice to cope but i hope your "abilities" come back sooner than mine did!
Good Luck
SASHA LYNN
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Sasha Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm pretty sure that one can't lose poetry skills and everybody goes through a bit of writer's block once in a while. For me, when I have nothing to write, I stop trying to make things rhyme and just write free verse. It's usually very helpful. Also, go out and find something beautiful to see or something adventurous to do. For instance, for instance, if you've never been ice skating, try it. Or if you're shy go talk to someone you've always wanted to talk to, but haven't had the courage. New experiences always open up the brain for writing.

Overall the emotion behind the poem is well expressed, but it's also a bit "pity me, pay attention to me" which can be off-putting to many readers.

Spelling should always be checked before allowing others to view your work. It's difficult to read a poem that the author didn't feel enough about to even bother with grammar, punctuation and/or spelling. If the author couldn't take the time, why should I?
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Onichan | [ Reply to This ]
  My young friend, Zach, I checked into your journal, and found that you had already posted it, "thoughts of lost rhythm". You have many years ahead of you to write poetry, do not become depressed or turn away from a God given gift. You will find the more you read and write, the better you will become.

As far as submitting for post each and every poem, this is not always a good idea, unless you deliberately put yourself out there asking other poets for their help. Should you do this, please know that some comments are not exactly what you want to hear.

My experience is that I begin with a thought, or a message, or something that draws my attention. I put this down as a notation on a piece of paper or whatever I have available to write upon. This thought is in it's absolutely rawest form. Put it down, think about it, then make some editing notes. My papers appear to look like a child's paper with words crossed out and new ones added, appears to be scribble paper. Then finally, it comes together in a solid message.

Also, very important that you edit your work for proper spelling and punctuation. This being done makes the read easier. The punctuation causes the reader to stop in the places you want them to stop. The spelling is very important for a reader to know the words you are using, for instance; in this one I wasn't sure whether or not the word you wanted to use was rythm or rhyme, the spelling is so close but they mean something different. Perhaps you created a new word, a cross between rhyme and rythm, I don' know.

Do not try to make changes when you are depressed or tired. Best to do it when you are fresh and feeling well.

I never put my first rough draft in post. It is developed over a period of time.

Just remember each and every poem is a gem unto itself, just some more polished than others. Please don't stop writing, you have a future ahead of yourself.

With loving friendly guidance, may God bless you.
Yvonne
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by dycrain | [ Reply to This ]
  everyone gets a little bit of writers block sometimes...even when you know what you want to write about, you just cant seem to find the words...and as far as the line 1 comment maybe 2...if you're referring to the comments on this site, dont sweat it..i posted something yesterday and got a whole 5 viewers lol. just gotta keep on keepin on...
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
  Awww...don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone has a block of one kind or another sometimes. Artists have painters blocks...poets, writers block...and, from experience...mothers have their own kind of blocks...of course...we moms two kinds...the ones where if you don't pick them up...they'll trip you...and then there are those "selective" blocks...which are welcome at anytime. LOL! I suspect, that with a dash of editing, and a dollup of enthusiasm...you may have the workings of a "found" rhythm! Once a poet...always a poet...look around for inspiration! Chin up, friend...I see nothing lost here!
Kimmy
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by KimmyMim | [ Reply to This ]

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