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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 27
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/
    Total Views: 747
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 209



    Description:
       i just wrote this now... i know it doesn't count as anything but i like it... i got really bored. in a depressed mood... just leave me alone.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdeathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    death...
    i watch it...
    it watches me...
    it atacks me...
    i die...

    hell...
    it burns...
    i am thrown in...
    i burn...
    i should have changed...




    Submitted on 2006-01-27 16:01:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is crude and fierce prhaps i can guess in wat mood u mst hv been. a cud attempt of say 15-20min.

    Ps:cm and comment my poetry plzz
    wasif
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by wasif | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoa! This is different! Straight-forward and to the point! This poem moves me to fear. It's an eye-opener for the spiritually blind. I love a short poem with a strong message. If you don't live right or repent, this is where you'll go. (HELL) This is a unique piece and needs to be published.
    | Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Mr. Amateur | [ Reply to This ]
      This was blunt and in a way flat to me...kinda like drinnking warm pop that's been outside in the summer heat for a long time and has no taste. But in some weird way...the subject appealed to me and I think if you ever have to motive to make this better, it could be a great piece. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      It's your person in it's most purest, rawest form. I'm sorry you feel that way and although like invisiblerose said, it could have more depth. But i did like the truth of it.
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by AngeloftheVoid | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.... I am not sure what to think of this. It is quite to the point, but I almost wish there was more depth to it. Unique style, so that gives you kudos ;)

    Emily
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by invisiblerose | [ Reply to This ]
      Very blunt, and out there. I am sorry that you are thinking this way, although don't imply that I am never sad. Great write. Very raw, and also very likeable. Great job!
    Alyssa
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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