Whoa! This is different! Straight-forward and to the point! This poem moves me to fear. It's an eye-opener for the spiritually blind. I love a short poem with a strong message. If you don't live right or repent, this is where you'll go. (HELL) This is a unique piece and needs to be published.
This was blunt and in a way flat to me...kinda like drinnking warm pop that's been outside in the summer heat for a long time and has no taste. But in some weird way...the subject appealed to me and I think if you ever have to motive to make this better, it could be a great piece. Keep it up.