Emerald Eyes by dax

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Submission Name: Emerald Eyes dots

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Author:	dax
ASL Info:	35 male BC Canada
Elite Ratio:	4.89 - 124/124/40
Words:	131

Class/Type:	Poetry/Passion
Total Views:	366
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	848

Description:
I am comparing a girl i fell in love with to Ireland. i know something about both but not as much as I would like, if that clears any confusion up : )

Emerald Eyes dots

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Your saddened eyes give me their gaze,
and tears you've cried in your days.
O' Ire my Ire, my sweet homeland,
ne'er abode on your shore but I understand.
I feel your breath in my blood,
scented fresh cut rose in bloom from bud.
Green eyes you have o' emerald isle,
matching charm of tongue and smile.
Share with me the things you've seen,
where your going and where you've been.
You've had your hurt now have your joy,
so the language of love you must employ.
Close your eyes and dare to dream,
fore a blinking of eyes life may seem.
Sleep now o' gentle lass,
in my arms this day to pass.
I'll see you, when you arise,
to the loving gaze of emerald eyes.

April 27, 2004

Submitted on 2004-04-29 09:12:23 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||

This was a definite fav, I have to admit I didn't see your comment at first and I read it solely as a poem about Ireland. I loved this piece though and that's strange because I don't often like writing that's conveyed in a seemingly archaic way, but this poem brought tears to my eyes.
I like the name Ire as the land, I think that works really well sonically.

O' Ire my Ire, my sweet homeland,
ne'er abode on your shore but I understand.
I feel your breath in my blood,
scented fresh cut rose in bloom from bud.

It's well worth the pilgrimage. I've been seven times in the last year, and I'm moving out there in October next year. It just steals your heart, it does, the land, the people, it truly is radiant as a 'fresh-cut rose'. I love how you describe ' I feel your breath in my blood.'
and:

Close your eyes and dare to dream,
fore a blinking of eyes life may seem.
Sleep now o' gentle lass,
in my arms this day to pass.
I'll see you, when you arise,
to the loving gaze of emerald eyes.

The pathos that surrounds Ireland is thick sometimes you can almost feel it just walking down the streets of Dublin. It's like it doesn't trust the seemingly two-faced celtic tiger, you know. There's an inbuilt sadness in the people too, they live for the land.

Although I admit I'm biased to the subject matter, at least the bit concerning Ireland, this one was brilliantly written and very poignant poem.

Peace and love,
Speacenik.
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Speacenik | [ Reply to This ]
  I grasp that this is an imagined Ireland that you have never seen, albeit, you are of Irish heritage - so it becomes an ideal place, a romantic dream like this girl. In your description you affirm that 'i fell in love with' connoting possibly a past rather than a present romance so both become a dream, however, the last few lines where you invite the girl to sleep in your arms certainly implies the present. Unlike the other commenters, I am less convinced of the archaic language but it is a charming poem.
love and peace
Comradenessie
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey, I like this! She's me! okay, she's not... but it was cool!

Change Ire to Erin.... "O, Erin, Erin..." because that could stand for eithe Ireland OR the girl, y'know? Adds that celtic myst :)

I'm not sure about "abode" to me that is a dwelling, not an actions, perhaps "ne'er foot upon your shore.."?

You did well!!
Lea
| Posted on 2004-05-22 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]

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