Mirror by Rain

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Submission Name: Mirror dots

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Author:	Rain
ASL Info:	18/F/Idaho
Elite Ratio:	3.84 - 518/501/64
Words:	108

Class/Type:	Poetry/Mirror or Mask
Total Views:	628
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	759

Description:

Mirror

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A piece of glass hangs on the wall,
many lose themselves in this glass.
Spending hours infront of themselves,
primping, glancing, loosing.

Wasting time consolting the wall,
telling themselves how lovely they look,
how breath taking they are,
how wonderful they must be.

Infront of the glass I stand,
looking into the glaze,
wondering why so many lose so much time
just gazing at themselves.

Looking back at me,
a scarred form
swallowed by darkness,
she screams as she falls into the nothingness.

They tell me I am beautiful,
and ask me why
when I don't agree.
This is the answer.

Submitted on 2006-01-27 19:07:51 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
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||| Comments |||
  This was a nice poem... Alot of girls really are vain. If you go to my school, EVERY MORNING the bathroom is taken up by prissy girls puttin on makeup and wondering why they would ever get dumped. If you walk in and you arent "up to standard" they will stare at you and give you hateful looks until you finish and leave. I think I'm attractive.. but when people say that I'm beautiful.. They wonder why I dont agree. I really do relate to this poem. It's totally awesome, and that's a reason it's going on my favorites.
Keep up the good writing. You have a pure and raw talent.
~*Kat*~
| Posted on 2007-01-07 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngelKat | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this poem alot, especially the end.
I also like the way you descibed how others are vain. It just seems like there should be more attention spent on the girl that dosent think she is beautiful, but also that could be a symbol that she dosent feel she deserves very much attention. When in fact that is the part that stood out the most, usually things that are gone over too much are unimportant and need repetition to make an impression. I really liked it all though, good job.

-kim
| Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by chemberdan | [ Reply to This ]
  Hello Kim,

I don’t want to confuse here I am going to say you here this could be the character or it could mean you, this will keep me from adding confusion to this comment by putting something like the character/you is/are type of thing. so if I put “you” or even “yourself” just know that it may mean the character in case it is not you,

sincerely Lord Butterfly

st1: ok I see the mirror hanging and on the second line I get that feeling of a narcissistic type individual one who loves their images. on the third line you have “infront” together you might want to separate that unless it is for some effect, it is done also in the third stanza on the 1st line. I do not understand how anyone can spend that much time looking at themselves.

st2: the first line gives me a feeling of “mirror, mirror on the wall” in Snow White. of course if one digs had enough they could connect almost anything I would imagine. you have “consolting” you might have wanted “consulting” also in the third line you can put “breath” and “taking” together into a compound word like this: “breathtaking” the way you have it is too separate words. I think it is funny that they are people who talk to themselves in the mirror not just talking but trying to talk themselves into being a certain way that is always funny.

st3: this stanza echo some of the things said before with small variances but the loss of time is cool. so the first stanza was mostly about looking into the mirror second was about talking and the third was a mixture of looking and loss of time. these three are focused on others who peer and the next line is the character.

st4: you see a scarred image swallowed by darkness this is a very glum view and has little hope in it. This perception of oneself is often tainted from the inside a conflict in the mind. The screams sound helpless like there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.

st5: when others say things like you are beautiful and you disagree that doesn’t necessarily lead to any answer for those who are seeking those anwers. The thing here is the battle is inside you and people do not know what is going on unless you tell them.

comparison of the five stanzas

I think the great strength of the work it lies in its structure. the first three stanzas deal with others looking at themselves. the fourth stanza is the perception of you looking at yourself while the fifth stanza is the battle with others to try to get them to see what you see. 3 others 1 you 1 interaction primary focus here seems to be on fifth stanza is appear to be separated farther than the rest that may be intentional or it may be an accident either way it is curious. there is a sharp contrast between your view and how other view themselves, just like there is another contrast between those who think one way of you and the way you think of yourself. this is not an uncommon problem many do suffer this warped view they have. then again the only ones who know whether the view is warped or not is the one looking at themselves in the mirror.
I like the way it is set up and the differences in the stanzas also the similarities, there is always more than what we see when you gaze into images and words. take care Kim well done,

~mike
| Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  i really like this piece of work. it is heartfelt and full of emotion. its pretty sad, but thats how people are these days. they care too much about what other people think about them. keep up the good work.
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by kession | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmm, I never exepected you to write a mirror poem. As usual with your poetry, the point of the poem transends the poem itself.
Well it started out not all that different from any other mirror and vanity poetry I've read, but I found the second half to be more interesting.

"Looking back at me,
a scarred form
swallowed by darkness
she screams as she falls into nothingness"

I notice that you refer to yourself as 'she' in the last line.

"They tell me that I am beautiful
and ask me why
when I don't agree.
This is the answer."

I understand why even though, to us outsiders, you are a beautiful girl,which is plain to us, you are from the inside looking out, and see what we can't.
You know, I used to wonder what I was like to other people; I worried about how I walked, how I talked, and especially how I looked.
Now, I have a very healthy 'image' of myself, and I wish I could help you in some way to see yourself as I see you, which even not knowing you except across the Internet, I think is closer to the way you are.
And as for that apparent ugliness you see in yourself, there is a way to change that.

No, it's not cookies.
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Jeniffer | [ Reply to This ]
  Yeah, I think that is the universal response the most average people think when people say they are beautiful. Unless they are some stuck on themself Hollywood type, most people dont think the image they see in the mirror is pleasing, yet...for example, many of you women will still stand there and put the makeup on and check it every so often when you are "out".
I dont get that sometimes...if you think you are still ugly AFTER the makeup is on...then why even bother wearing it? It obviously doesnt help according to you, ya know?

Anyway, I think this was a very heartfelt write and I did see your photo when you had it up on your page and would have to agree with all the others that say that you are a very attractive young woman.

Thanks for sharing and keep smilin'

| Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  People see everything that is wrong with themselves, they truely want to be something great, but find they are lacking in "societies views". I say throw those magazines out the window, go back to before you knew what the "norm" was, and live life free of media. Good for nothing gossip pushers.

Beauty is not measured only on the outside, maybe you aren't looking deep enough inside, when you look in that mirror. Or maybe you are looking too deep. Either way, what you see is what you make it. Nothing there happened without you. Live life in the now, throw away all your past wrongs. Start anew.

Kitty
| Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by I Exsist | [ Reply to This ]
  I thought the ending was a little weak, and really needed a shaper punch to it, the idea of looking into a mirror and wondering what others see , has a making of a good poem it just needs a little work I think at any rate thats my take on it ,don't couraged though I see a lot of promise in your works
adnil
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
  i think the last line should be its own stganza. the answer is that you stand ther for so long because they say something to you that you dont agree with and so you stare trying to see it but it's not what you see. this is a cool poem. there are a few spelling mistakes that I will not harp on, but nice work.
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]
  But it's not an answer. It says you don't see anything...you don't see what all the fuss is about, but it's not an answer to those who think you are beautiful.

Perhaps if you can lift your own opinion of yourself you may be able to understand what others say, and appreciate it. There's a lot of seriously hideous looking people out there that would trade places with you.

Now...look again, and

be happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
  Ooo I love that.
The ending couldn't be any more perfect.
I'm fascinated.

My favorite part is:
"Looking back at me,
a scarred form
swallowed by darkness,
she screams as she falls into the nothingness."

It's kind of creepy (in a good way).
Very nicely done
Great job!

-nikkki
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  Pretty good poem, though I have to say the end was really off. I hope kim doesn't really feel this way, caze then that would be sad. :( Great start and middle, but like I said before the ending needs some work. *runs away from the sharp sticks that get thrown at her* Well it's true!
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]

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