Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Black and White Exampledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ethan Brody
    ASL Info:    35 - M - Chile
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 443/206/79
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1137
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 616



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Black and White Exampledots
    -------------------------------------------


    It came to me
    I saw it clearly
    It made sense.

    I'm not revealing
    A hidden truth
    But the world
    As we know it
    Spins around them.
    As black and white
    May be a simple pair.
    Male and female
    Could help as well.
    The tyger and the lamp
    That's a classic one.
    Noise and silence
    Is just an austere one.

    Even our own existence
    Proves to be one,
    And another case
    That the universe
    As we know it
    Is just a further example.





    Submitted on 2006-01-28 12:53:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ethan,
    The symbolism is there. I like the comparsion. "tiger and the lamp"
    you have perhaps seen the world for what it is... and have accepted it.
    What I am wondering is, what inspired you to write this? nary a bit of insight here, but i guess it is expected from me???
    ~le beau vide
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by lebeauvide | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice poem about the poles in the world that gives meaning only in pairs ( a lion is not a lion without a lamp etc.)
    What does bother me a bit in this write, is the first lines. By writing yourself (or the author of the poem) out of this poem, it would be more clear cut. The lines I am referring to is: “It came to me/I saw it clearly/It made sense.//I’m not revealing/A hidden truth”. Then rewriting the opening tho something in the lines of: “The world…”
    | Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by tZar | [ Reply to This ]
      Are you pointing out the 'symbolic' nature of complimentary pairs (and their essential need of each other to clarify extremes and provide balance)? If so, it's a remarkably blunt observation of the interwoven character of the universe (and judging by the tone of the poem, you seem appropriately awed by the revelation). I appreciate what this write has to say about humanity in general. Nicely done. Take care. Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    89185

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry