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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lover's Daydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Gothica
    ASL Info:    18/f/PA
    Elite Ratio:    0.19 - 0/2/2
    Words: 252
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 486
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1411



    Description:
       I want to entry this in a poetry contest and i want to know if it ok or not. So anything you guys can tell me would be really helpful :-)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLover's Daydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The day where people make arrangements
    for a romantic dinner for two. A day where
    couples can cuddle by the fire and the
    whisper sweet words of love and
    devotion to each other.

    A day where the meaning of flowers
    come alive. A day that people confess
    their love with a colorful bouquet of red
    roses. A day when the food of love is
    chocolates, caramel hearts, and strawberries.

    A day that brings the goddess Venus
    and her son Eros to life. A day where
    Venus comes in many different disguises.
    A day where Eros many turn out to be
    your best friend.

    A day where the arrows of love pierce
    the most darkest of hearts and a with a
    little help from Venus. Love will blossom.

    A day that inspired love songs and poems.
    A day that helps the most tongue tied
    boyfriends propose to you. A day that
    you might get a surprise visit from your
    true love. A day where coincidence is
    throw to the wind.

    A day where a simple gift whether it be
    a single rose or a card to someone special
    can be the greatest gift of all. A day where
    a kind act is the most powerful of all.
    A day where you build everlasting
    memories and strengthen the bonds
    of friendship.




    Submitted on 2006-01-28 15:23:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think you already broke this into stanzas, but I don't know if you edited or not already so i'm gonna say that I agree with sunraybutterfly. I absolutely loved the added touch of Venus and Eros, to me, even though I don't know you, it seemed like it threw a bit of yourself into the mix. I see this really isn't much of a rhyming poem, which is awesome, because I'm glad that you pulled it off. I have major trouble when it comes to not rhyming poetry, it's so hard for me, lol. You also get your point and subject across wonderfully without even mentioning that this poem's about Valentine's day. Am I right? Well, this was very good. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi

    Nice write.

    My first advice would be to break this up into stanza's When you do this it will make this poem have a completely different meaning. It will also flow better.

    I like the reference to Venus and Eros perhaps elborate on that a little.

    Good luck!

    Remember everyone's writing is unique and beautiful.



    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by sunraybutterfly | [ Reply to This ]

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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