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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: why trydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet sorenity
    ASL Info:    24/f/ Ga
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 211/221/58
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 809



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswhy trydots
    -------------------------------------------





    why do you assume i will always be neer

    waiting whith my arms open

    i see the way you leer

    but i keep hopein



    i try so hard

    you know i do

    but im am broken into little shards

    why cant i erase you



    is it too much to ask

    just let me please redo the past

    i cant take this much longer

    my mind continues to wander



    comeing back to you

    but i truely dont want to

    why do i try

    all you do is make me cry



    so good night and good bye

    i can no longer live this lie





    Submitted on 2006-01-28 18:19:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sorenity,

    why do you assume i will always be neer
    waiting whith my arms open
    i see the way you leer
    but i keep hopein

    I am beginning to believe your mispelled words are typo's so I want comment on them. I know what you mean truly in this stanza. I went thru it for 6 months. Your feelings were released to your computer as if it was on of your friends. I love stanza one. This stanza revealed to me, as the reader, the passion you display.

    i try so hard
    you know i do
    but im am broken into little shards
    why cant i erase you

    I felt the same way 6 months ago. You express yourself instead of keeping it inside. The reason I singled out those two stanza's is because I can relate so deeply. Your writing is a way to free yourself. Keep writing and don't stop by any means. You are truly an inspiration to me. I had a block last week. I read one of your poems and the surge just exploded.

    Sombra
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by B-Gentle | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this piece, however, i saw some misspells. (i'm not sure if it's intentional) who is this about? your rhymes are clear, the message has impact and the poem itself has feeling. there's nothing worse than loving someone who refuses to offer love in return.
    | Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Mr. Amateur | [ Reply to This ]
      this was almost like a song to me and it reminded me of Green Day but of My Chemical Romance. I hope you don't take that as an insult because to me those are both very good bands. This was a beautiful write. Like Troy said, damn good job. Keep on writing.
    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      is this about a guy? well anyway i liked it a lot. the whole thing flowed well and i think u got ur point across very well. sometimes relationships (if that is what this is about) may seem hopeless and u try for a very long time to make everything right only to find out that u have mearely wasted your time. damn good job. keep it up
    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]


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