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Rising from Hell

Author: Rain
ASL Info:    22/F/Idaho
Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 531 /514 /70
Words: 120
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1797
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 795


Rising from Hell

Falling to their knees,
and dust rising to the sky.
You see faint shadows of them,
as they try to stand back up.

Finding something to hold onto,
grasping for a helping hand,
As they struggle to their feet.

Gasping for clean air,
their eyes are finally open,
as they brush the dirt from their clothes.

Working their way from the shadows,
defeating the demons,
and then using them as stepping stones.

One step at a time,
they come back to the surface.

Starting new,
a fresh slate,
I see these women,
beginning life again.

Coming back from the depths of hell,
One as my angel,
the other as my mother.

Submitted on 2006-01-28 23:31:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This Rain is a fantastic write
This write speaks of what are my beliefs perfectly
It is possible to shed the negative and begin life a new
I do this every day of my Life
I truly loved this
I commend you on a fantastic write
God Bless
| Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  OK I gotta admit the last line made me smile (I have a feeling I wasn't meant to) It's very good it's kind of chilling yet it has a morbid air which I kind of like.
I can't see the Women bit...I mean I can see it but I can't see it per say...I know what I mean it's probably a guy thing but I liked it anyway!
| Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by irvine_valentin | [ Reply to This ]
  Intense. The title gives me chills.

I really don't know what to say on this one. It seems to scream all that it wants you to know. Bravo, Rain, this is a very well written, and very well read piece.

| Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by I Exsist | [ Reply to This ]
  kimbre, very good. excellent. women rise. this could speak for all of womenkind (voting rights/equality, right to chhose), but could equally apply to slavery and survival (e.g., breast cancer).

the line at the end kind seemed big and a little scary with the reference to your angel...

"As they struggle to their feet." seemed a bit repetitive with the last line of the first stanza. if that was intentional, I'm not sure it works for me.

how about combining the first 2 stanzas and changing the 2nd line below and the last line below...

"Falling to their knees,
and dust settling to the sky.
You see faint shadows of them,
Finding something to hold onto,
grasping for a helping hand,
as they try to rise again."

.... just a thought. it's great though.
| Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]
  holy cow I have never read a poem quite lijke this yet. thank you for sharing I can see how deep this is for you.

This tells me that angels will fight for us no matter whayt. And will bring us up. I dont know the exact circumstances but I am getting the feeling this was huge.
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by aprilrenee101 | [ Reply to This ]
  Really nice poem, I love the images I ggot from this. Though the part about demons getting beat up made me kinda laugh. No idea why though ^_^

This seems happier then most of the other stuff you've written, though maybe you wheren't thinking of it as a happy poem but it just came off that way? Great job no matter what you wanted it to be ^_^
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
  Incredible. Beautiful.

"Working their way from the shadows,
defeating the demons,
and then using them as stepping stones"

"Thou shalt tread upon the lion and the adder,
the young lion and the serpent thou shalt trample under foot."
Psalm 91 v.13

what I also gathered from that is that they use their own demons as stepping stones, in other words, using their personal horrors as a way to grow and rise.
this is something i'm going to have to read repeatedly.
At first, I had no idea what you were talking about. but as it went on the whole picture emerged.
You speak in experienced terms of the courageous women in your life emerging from their own prisons to be the heroes of your life.
Heres hoping you all rise to the same cloud.
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Jeniffer | [ Reply to This ]
  I was immediately captured by the curt, distinct lines. You don't pull any punches, which is groovy.

Keeping that in mind, I would try and go back to boil it down even further and really make those images strike out.

| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow this was highly impressive in my opinon...and I really got how you felt...this for some reason was kind of eerie throughout with the imgary but in a way it made it an even better read. I'm not sure what to say about this one lol, cept that I really liked it and look forward to reading more of your writes soon.
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  That's an interesting text. Your way to compare the day to day life in a tragic but somehow....positive ( in the end) way touched me. I mean, we never really stop in the life to think about how we feel...or how others feels... It's not just a women thing, I think everybody feel that thing you describe when you have to adapt yourself to a new situation, mood or person ( like breaking up with someone and falling in love really fast after) It's nicely done.
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Aceofthedice | [ Reply to This ]
  This had a spooky feel to it at first, then picked up speed and nerve. It was like a anthem for women who are resurrecting themselves emotionally. This poem had a nice flow and great imagery. You did a fine job with this poem.

| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
I cant speak for anyone but myself...but I see and feel the entire scope of the women in your age range in this one write. You speak of things that at least 95% of the women on this website have thought, thunk or felt.
Who said you cant write good stuff? Oh, wait a minute...YOU did, ha!
Well ma dear...sorry, but I gotta just proved yourself wrong. Neener-neener-neener...Kimbres mirror's cleaner!
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, this is really good.
I particularly like this line > "defeating the demons, and then using them as stepping stones." (we all need to learn how to do that)
I had no idea which way you were going with this. Great ending.

I see this as a woman (or women) who's lost herself (whether in marriage or life in general).. and then, after great struggle, finds her courage, her heart, again.

| Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]

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