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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: From Withindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: disturbed420
    ASL Info:    20/f/wpg
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 36/35/15
    Words: 249
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 821
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1519



    Description:
       Just.... a write.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFrom Withindots
    -------------------------------------------


    When everything's broken into pieces,
    Nothing will stay the same,
    Everything will crack and change.
    I'll just stay there,
    The only thing that is the same.
    Watching over you, keeping you here,
    I just want you to know who I truly am.

    I am the one who will wipe your tears away,
    Hold you close even in the darkest of days.
    I am the one who will stand by your side,
    Even through the toughest of nights.
    I am the one who will always love you,
    No matter what hardship we go through.
    I am the one who is close, yet far
    Always watching you, keeping you safe from harm.

    When you don't want the world to see a glimpse of you,
    I will shield you from their gaze,
    Make sure you are safe, not ablaze with their theory's
    On who you are, and how you should be.

    And with the thought that we are to live for so much more,
    We will make it come true,
    We'll be amazing, it'll be something new,
    That no one has ever experienced before,
    Or even done, they will never do.

    I am here to help you up,
    To hold you high,
    To get you through your darkest nights.
    I am here,
    I always will be.
    I'll watch you from afar,
    But I am here at just a thought.

    So don't worry,
    Don't cry,
    I love you with all my soul,
    For I am just that.




    Submitted on 2006-01-29 22:31:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I must agree with heartlessname, first stanza definitely reminded me of that song. It distracted me from the rest of the poem. I had to read it one more time. There is a lot of love in it, thatís for sure, but you could use more imagination in expressing your emotions.
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed reading this quite a bit, I didn't understand the purpose or meaning behind the 4th verse, as far as I could see it really isn't necessary to the overall feel of the poem. It is a nice testament to a wonderful emotion. thanks for the read.
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by auntwheezie | [ Reply to This ]
      This is outstanding
    I really mean that
    I really enjoyed reading this write
    It was very origanelly written with really great sentiment
    I look forward to reading more of your writes
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Lmao.. I read the first line and had to stop. it reminded me of that Goo-Goo Dolls song.. Iris.. "When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am" Hehe, sorry.. That and the word same popping up twice in a disinteresting way. But it's also written liek a song so, maybe you were inspired by them, jsut dont ever publish this unless you want a lawsuit :P just kidding. It's a nice piece, ebtetr thanmost, and I like what you said in it, or were tring to,e ither way, good work.. please read and review my work, one piece at least and tell me what you think, I'd appreciate it
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by heartlessname | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...this is the best example of personification i have ever read...*shocked expression*...i had no clue or idea of the ending, it was a very nice surprise. the soul? who ever would have thought of that? ^.^ i love surprises...i was totally not expecting that at all. keep it up! i even liked the flow, it didn't always rhyme...and i liked that. great imagery!
    *barbie*
    | Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Meotoko | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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