I got mad at you for this one for a reason. I didn't want to remember. But when I read it, I couldn't help feeling everything that I felt then. That's why I wrote "Memories Remain". You made me think about it again.
God played no part in this. It was a stupid decision made by a stupid person, who had no right to do what he did. But he got what he deserved in the end. Just wish I was the one to dispense justice.
I did cry reading this, just like I cried the night it happened. And everytime I think about it, it's getting so close to the date, where would we have been right now if it had never happened?
I wanted to die that day. If only I hadn't been so stupid! And I'm sorry for waiting as long as I did to tell you. I didn't want to believe it happened. I was hoping that maybe... maybe it survived. Never happened like that...
There will be a chance, someday, for both of us. I honestly believe that. ...bb...
Wow, man this poem is great, another fav, its just great!!!!!!!!! Its AMAZZZZZZZZZING!!!!!!!!!!! Its just so good man, ok, anyway there are a couple of mistakes, maybe u should recheck ur poem before publishing it:
With my legacy gone Life isn't the same Feeling robbed and alone with no one to blame
Here I think the with should be capitalized into With.
If the lies were never told You'd be on your way Soon to be in my arms All the things I wont get to say
Here the wont should be won’t. anyway, its great though, its amazing and I really liked it, like A LOT, it’s a clear view of ur emotions, and there is nothing between me and the visualization, its clear, and there is nothing blocking the view, a great flow and it sounds nice, and my favourite part was:
So this final tear I cry Is a tribute in the night Now I see what my legacy is It will forever be, the dying of the light
Goodbye...
ITS ASTONISHINGLY TOUCHING!!! U couldn’t believe how much it touched me, it touched me like yur previous poem, its great, I love ur art, its so good, and like the description says, it touched me a lot, didn’t make me cry but I felt ur emotions, and ur really great, and man, your so good, I cant wait for your next poem to come out, and I hope that’s its gonna go better in ur lidfe now than before, so if anything happens im someone you can talk to, and ill be there for you if you want, and anyway, this was terrific, and I don’t think I lost my time at all to read this, it’s a chef-d’ouevre. Anyway, lets hope that ur gonna feel better later, and I cant wait to read another poem, ur marvellous.
try to be good, and continue writnng, cause if you stop, it would be a tremendous error, stopping something that great should be banned, and also, it should be fined, or even worse, u should be killed to death if u stopped work like this one, the poem is freaking good, and I already went through this, and I know you what you feel, and its freaking hard to go through something like this, and now my life is great, so don’t stop living for something, you’re probably gonna find better, and then ur gonna the happiest man on the Earth, and maybe even on the universe. So anyway, good luck, and if u wanna laugh a bit come on the shout box. Lol anyway. Continue ur work, I mean ur GREAT work!!!
Really depressing poem but it has a couple of spelling errors in it. I'd go back and fix those if I where you. Great job on writing this, the whole thing flows really well and keeps to the subject without going off to far.
The poem itself is super sad. And I think it is a good start to your poetry. I think the thing for me was that it is not how I write. I am not a fan a poetry that rhymes at all, but I think your rhyming could be better used it you put more imagery into it. I don't see you showing us much more just telling us..show us how you feel...i mean you are sad but is it like strangling sadness or what...still a good poem though.
oh my god... that was brilliant... i'm so touched... the emotios were so strong... just a perfect write...nice work... hope to see more of ur writings...
It is a very heartfelt and emotional poem, I love your choices in wording. The only thing I think you might want to clarify is "give it all up" in the stanza "My skies are always dark A cloud forever over my head If I could just give it all up Death should have taken me instead" Let the audience know what it is you should have given up. Truley an amazing poem.
That was so brillant. It really touched me. It had so much emotion and you could almost see her laughing and giggling..or something like that. It was so sad. good job inkpen
Amazing and hearttouching. It's really sad, and yes, it did make me cry. I love your pattern and ryhming. Very nice job. My skies are always dark A cloud forever over my head If I could just give it all up Death should have taken me instead That was my favorite stanza.
Submission Name: My legacy gone
anyway. Continue ur work, I mean ur GREAT work!!!