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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Virgin Societydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: playcrackthesky
    ASL Info:    21/f/IA
    Elite Ratio:    4.46 - 463/457/88
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 1425
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 951



    Description:
       why leave if you're leaving for all the wrong reasons.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Virgin Societydots
    -------------------------------------------


    It should be a safe place.

    But It's walls are gaining weight from
    the pressure,
    the comfort,
    the desire.

    Haunting the residents to a bursting point.

    Light of hope is barely squeezing through
    the lust,
    the confusion,
    the carelessness.

    Enticing the believers to forget.

    And we have.

    From the flesh drowning in regret
    we'll try to remember
    the place that should've kept us safe.

    We burned it with our need
    to impress,
    to prove,
    to seek revenge.

    We let the smoke encircle our place, our minds.

    The value seems silly until you've neglected it.

    And in the end
    all you may have wanted
    was to rid yourself of loneliness,
    but your sight is failing to see

    The virgin society.




    Submitted on 2006-01-30 13:09:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      aw this is so sad
    it seems like peer pressure and lust are too much to handle sometimes
    I wish things could be more inocent
    this is so inspiring
    keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2007-08-11 00:00:00 | by xSaraHx | [ Reply to This ]
      aw this is so sad
    it seems like peer pressure and lust are too much to handle sometimes
    I wish things could be more inocent
    this is so inspiring
    keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2007-08-11 00:00:00 | by xSaraHx | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I really liked this poem.
    I loved the concept of "Virgin Society".
    Virgins are a dying breed now in our
    society. Everyone wants to become part
    of our sex crazed media. Every where you
    look there is sex. It's hard not to fall to temp-
    tation. I love this poem. It's going on my favs...

    ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{
    | Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      well i have no idea what to say..
    this is stunning... it really is...
    you say so much in this piece that i dont know if ive ever heard presented in poetic form before... honestly...

    the virgin society...

    an intersting concept...
    "everyones doing it" is the biggest lie ive ever heard and yet it is the line that seems to make everyone seem so inadequate and like theres something wrong with them... if they arent having sex with someone then they are nothing... destined for spinsterhood or something equally as dramatic... ugh!

    i like thw way you kinda have lists through this piece...
    the three ideas following a line...
    it gives it a kinda multichoice feel to the piece and yet neither of these choices are ones i would gladly choose... ya know?

    inticing believers to forget

    and we have

    this is the most crucial part of the write for me...
    we have forgotten in the midst of the frenzy the value of what we have and its not that if we give up what we have we will be dirty and worthless for life but perhaps we're selling ourselves short... giving up too soon... i dont know...

    i once read a line that went something along the lines of

    girls give sex to get love
    guys give love to get sex

    its a sad line and part of it sounds true to me...
    we give ourselves to people for some crazy reasons... the need to feel loved... needed... important... beautiful... to prove we are enough... the list goes on and yet that feeling afterwards... that [censored] what have i done that resonates in your entire being... does that make anything worth it...?

    ok... so this is a very provoking piece...
    i congratulate you on writing this and on posting...
    take care of you...
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Life is hard to live if you are being buried alive with peer pressure. This poem shows how some give up their residency in the virgin society as you called it, and give in to sexual pleasures. This was a very good write and I think you did a good job in giving reason for why many cave in and have sex when it was not for the right reasons as you stated above. Very vivid with it's imagery and powerful writing. I liked this alot. Very good job.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      What an interesting poem this is. I like it. You have really touched on some very serious issues when it comes to this subject. All of what you have said is true. I have been there, perhaps quite a many years now haha, but I remember how this feels and you have said it very well. This poem is well written and expressed and I like how you say it should be a safe place. You know, it really should be. But it gets all intertwined with confusion, and curiosity, and so many other feelings that it doesnt feel safe. It is a source of frustration and in more ways than one hee hee! Very good poem you have here. Hope all is well with you. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this piece!
    Like hyproglo said "somebody stepped into the deep end of the pool " As soon as I started reading this I felt submerged. The piece is a little mysterious, elusive, which I like, and is probably for the best. If anything about the piece should be revised it is escaping me. I figure that only you know what more this piece might need, if it needs anything.
    Very nice work!
    Nicely
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I think that I like it...and I know that I love the meaning behind it. Such true emotions... But I want to know like what all takes place...like do you meet mr right now or is it something random that happens...We all do it eventually but the ways it happens can be very powerful as well
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by haileebobailee | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm. this is a mixture of comedy (the title) and very deep meanings. why do i think you could be the only one to write like this. i love it!

    i liked the build up the climx and the ending! there's a lot of meaning here in what you're trying to say, and you've conveyed that beautifully. this is one original write i must say. cant really tell you what to improve. so i'll stop now. and btw you still haven't read turn it down version one and two on my page.

    great work.

    Zuheir.
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]
      This was intresting and surprisingly unique..I must admit seeing the title I expected alot less of this one but even with the joking aspect here there was alot of deep emotion and meaning to your words.
    peace
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...i'm really impressed!

    your words that it seems silly until you've neglected it was so perfect! then you said that sex can be used for ridding lonliness, to impress, or revenge? how sweet is that? You covered the hardcore aspects of it. You just have to be so careful these days, if not, if you get out of control, then i guess you would long for that safe house that you've left so long ago...right? anyway this was great, the structure and the words came together really well...like a slurpie from 711...lol..hey steph take care!

    Brent
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
      Woah...somebody stepped into the deep end of the pool this morning! Hee-hee!

    This was quite good Steph. So much in there for one to grasp and ponder. Just chock full of good lines!

    The value seems silly until you've neglected it

    That was probably my favorite one. Oh, in this line:

    the that should've kept us safe

    Does that read right? Seems a little awkward. Maybe "what shoud've..."? I dunno, just my thought.

    Thanks!
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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