Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Trappeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 14
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 828
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 128



    Description:
       For my son, Chad, 11 who is struggling with growing up. Like a lot of you here, he's young but wise...I told him he just suffers now because he's an old spirit in a kid's body!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrappeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Old Soul
    in little
    man's
    body...
    new path
    in infinite
    one's
    mind...




    Submitted on 2004-04-29 13:28:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hmmm. the possibilities of our children are infinite, aren't they. it kinda makes you reflect on your childhood(as the reader). wisdom is great, but nothing without happiness, hence one my many problems both now and as a youth. Sure Chad will pull through, take care.
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Short but perfect I wouldn't change a thing.
    sometimes a few words can have more power then a 1000 page novel. good job
    | Posted on 2004-04-29 00:00:00 | by Broken Angel | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...I love the way you decribe your son's mind being older in a younger man's body. My mother says the same kind of things about me. That mentally I'm too old but physically I look and act like a five year old. Anyways I liked the flow of this piece and the structure too....good work
    ~Jaime Lee Pachétte~
    | Posted on 2004-04-29 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really nice. I love the conciseness of it. I'm not sure you need the ellipses. My mom and I were talking about how I never was a child the other day. The weird thing is that I look 15 at 28.
    | Posted on 2004-04-29 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    8942

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    To written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Giving written by jjd
    Linger written by saartha
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    The Promise written by annie0888
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Wavelength written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry