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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: murderdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 622
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 594



    Description:
       i think i was high when i wrote this... i'm not sure. i hope you like it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmurderdots
    -------------------------------------------


    murder is truth.
    murder can't lie.
    murder has won.
    i murdered those guys.

    my revenge was sweet.
    my revenge was fun.
    revenge is weakness,
    but my revenge won.

    happiness lies,
    and happiness worries.
    happiness scares me.
    happiness furies.

    darkness is comfort.
    my darkness is love.
    this darkness is darker,
    than the black of my glove.

    i'm sorry i murdered.
    i can't help revenge.
    good-bye happiness.
    darkness in the end.




    Submitted on 2006-01-30 15:41:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i do not condone drugs. part of the hunt is lost when theres enamored prey... you have much inside you that is struggling to get out. heres a window into that i feel. well done i enjoy reading your work, it doesnt feel as if your as young as you are. keep them coming please.
    blackie
    | Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by blackhart | [ Reply to This ]
      this was cool. i think it would have been better if it was broken up is stanzas:

    murder is truth.
    murder can't lie.
    murder has won.
    i murdered those guys.

    my revenge was sweet.
    my revenge was fun.
    revenge is weakness,
    but my revenge won.

    happiness lies,
    and happiness worries.
    happiness scares me.
    happiness furies.

    darkness is comfort.
    my darkness is love.
    this darkness is darker,
    than the black of my glove.

    i'm sorry i murdered.
    i can't help revenge.
    good-bye happiness.
    darkness in the end.


    and the repetition seems kinda strong but i like the feeling it gives and what it says behind it. it was actually very nicely written. Nice job.

    -BleedingTears
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      I always write some interesting pieces after tokin - I liked this because it seemed like the murder was symbolic for something else within yourself.
    It flowed well. The last 3 lines were strong.
    Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS IS [censored]ING AWESOME! I a gree get high more, lol, what do you do? lol, anyway, I'm definately adding this to the 'ol favorite's. I actually feel like this and this is basically my motto. Keep writing, this was beautiful.
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW, so much emotion! Maybe you should purposely get high and write because this was really good. I loved the word choice even though it was limited. Great write. I am sorry, this was so good, and I am just lost for words so I am just going to sign off now. Great job!
    Alyssa
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]


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