Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Lines From A Bleeding Heart


Author: realpassion
ASL Info:    27/Male/Nigeria
Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 81 /70 /50
Words: 170
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 893
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1082



Description:




Lines From A Bleeding Heart



What feels better than to hold
you in my arms?
your endless absence kills faster than a plague;
its' so breath-taking
simply heart-cracking
and so unsatisfying
to know that you love me
with your all--body & soul
yet, your actions betray assurances...

Many a night I cried cos
the lies you told stab my core;
gnawing at my confidence
like a corrosive.
dreadfully I recalled the cold nights
which snatched away my sleep
cos' of your heart-poisoning joke;

Thought you were my shoulder
thought you can make me whole
thought you could be decisive...
now am confused beyond sanity.
the pain though is real,
and the suspicion--more choking,
yet,love for you stronger becomes.

iziegbe!
for you I've fallen completely
whats my guilt for loving you rightly?
undo my woes before I become undone
else, will our hearts forever be lonely




Submitted on 2006-01-30 19:45:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  What's 'iziegbe'? I'm just guessing its someone you love...

There's grammar to be corrected. And other than that is that you can take each paragraph as a poem standing on its own. Quite unique and you did a good job.
| Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by RyukiTZR | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



89483