Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Prayer for the Childdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: delusional
    ASL Info:    42
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 75/98/18
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 692
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 658



    Description:
       I kind of cranked this one out rather quickly after watching a horrendous news story about a little infant girl found in a bag floating on the water. They showed the rescuer retrieving the bag and opening it- revealing the little life inside- crying -neatly dressed- with a ribbon on her head. Who ever did this- never looked in that child's eyes- or else they would see- nothing is more valuable- NOTHING!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Prayer for the Childdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A prayer for the child,
    thrown away like trash-
    no loving hand touched her
    in her miniscule past.

    Floating downstream-
    she struggles for breath;
    an inhumane journey,
    yet she defies death.

    Washed into the arms
    of those who could care:
    This was not fate-
    they would find her there.

    A prayer for the child
    who didn't ask to be born-
    Her Father was watching-
    and now keeps her from harm.

    My prayer for this child:
    May she always feel loved-
    when weak, draw her strength
    from the powers Above.




    Submitted on 2006-01-31 09:57:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, so touching, it makes me wonder sometimes how anyone could abandon a child, especially the mother. It has a very prayerful feel and the flow matches the title and the words used. It reminds me of my own birthmother, who gave me up for adoption, who gave me a chance at a better life rather than destroying the life she could not support. Great poem, keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is imaculate. The best one Ive seen for a while. Not because of the wording or flow, but the idea and emotion, how real the subject is. To write on reality like this is truely beautiful. This is a Favorite for sure. Every stanza cuaght my attention. I anticipate more submissions from you! Great write, keep it up!
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by nasuka | [ Reply to This ]
      Absolutely beautiful
    You captured the feelings I felt when hearing this story perfectly
    I dont understand and dont think I ever will how a person can try to kill a beautiful loving child
    There are so many alternatives
    People need to realize it could be as simple as dropping a child off at the fire house or police station with no questions asked
    This really is a sad reality and you worded the situation perfectly
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a beautiful write for such a horrible situation. You did a fabulous job with this poem. I try not to talk about "flow" a lot, but I can't not talk about it in this piece. It just came out so smoothly and you worded things perfectly. You offer a very sweet prayer and I hope that baby will forever be safe in loving arms. Somebody was definately watching from up above. Thank you so much for sharing this piece!

    Candi
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      good write, and i agree whoever done this would have to be a heartless person, i loved the flow of the write, the way you used your words are amazing. i loved it keep up the good work.

    trinity
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by in_a_trap | [ Reply to This ]
      Good write and such a sad situation! Too often people who shouldnt have children...such a shame sometimes, but what can ya do?

    I liked your prayer for the child and the write was put together quite well even if you did do it in haste!
    Good job and hopefully this child gets cared for.
    Thanks for sharing!
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very nice little write. I espesially like the first stanza
    A prayer for the child,
    thrown away like trash-
    no loving hand touched her
    in her miniscule past.
    This poem had wonderful flow and rhyme and nice wording. It was very wonderfully done and you should be proud.
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by Alura | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    89534

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry