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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You're Beautifuldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 265
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 23192
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1899



    Description:
       I wrote this about three different people that I love very much, and I consider the most beautiful people on earth. The 1st part is about my cousin, Jessie, the 2nd, my sister Jaz, and the third, my ex, Tony. I just wanted to write about how beautiful they were to me.


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    dotsYou're Beautifuldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Do you know just how special you are,
    How you effortlessly light up a room,
    That you sweep into a person's life
    And subtly replace all the gloom.
    When was the last time someone said they loved you
    Cause you should hear it every day
    And just in case you didn't know this,
    Let me be the first to say

    You're beautiful
    In a way that words cannot express
    You're beautiful
    Cause you're nothing like the rest
    You're beautiful
    And so are all the things you do
    You're beautiful
    So please just keep on being you.

    You captured my heart
    When your tiny fingers touched my own.
    I knew I'd die to protect you
    And my, how you have grown.
    You have this incredible face
    But what you just don't know
    Is that everyone loves you
    Because of your truly perfect soul

    You're beautiful
    And I hope it's something you can feel
    You're beautiful
    It's the kind of beauty that's nothing but real
    You're beautiful
    Sometimes despite the things you do
    You're beautiful
    And it's just because it's you

    I knew that I loved you
    The very first time that we kissed
    And lying in your arms
    Was the only taste I've had of bliss
    You've been selfish
    And I know you've lied
    But you try so hard
    And I've seen the good inside

    You're beautiful
    And it's something you need to hear
    You're beautiful
    And you keep my heart so near
    You're beautiful
    Though I can't understand what you do
    You're beautiful
    Don't let anyone take that from you.




    Submitted on 2006-01-31 11:12:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Oh Raivn...This was beautiful.
    The first thing I noticed that I liked was the repetition. The one stanza where every other line was 'your beautiful'. They, in a way, connected all of us, the 'your beautiful', I think, represents you. Your the extremely important glue that holds all three of us together. Without the line, the poem would be in three separate parts. Each good in their own way, but when combined with the line [you] they are come together and create, and in turn become, something more beautiful then they could have ever been on their own. The influence of the line, the 'light' the line sheds on the rest of the poem makes the thing, as a whole, more beautiful, as it reflects it's own beauty onto the separate parts. You see what I'm saying here Raivn? Your beautiful!
    I liked the flow of this poem. It rhymes, but I had to go back to check. I don't know...it feels as if it doesn't rhyme. The whole thing has sort of a melodic flow to it, as if it were a song.
    Wonderful job here Raivn.
    I want to say thank you. And that if not for you, I wouldn't be half of what I am now. None of us would. It's your influence that keeps us pretty!
    I loves you, dear Raivn.
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very emotional. I nearly cried. I don't think that you could have put your feelings in better words. I really liked this. This would make a great song...ya know? I'm adding it to my favs. I like how each part is split for each person. I can tell which part belongs to who. This is one of my favorites my you. Keep it up...your a great writer.

    Peace
    Steven
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      I really cried...and my day has been full of emotion so thanks b i t c h...lol, just kidding. Thanks Raivn, you know what I truly strive to be. Do you really remember when I was a baby? Cause I don't :(
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a beautiful written poem, i loved the repitio n you used in it. i can tell by this poem that these 3 people you love them to a no ends, and you would do anything to protect them. i can also tell that you have been hurt by one of them but you still love them no matter what and that shows compassion in your heart. i loved it, great write

    trinity
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by in_a_trap | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful poem. It sang like a song to me. Very easy to get a little rhythm going when reading it. Thats good stuff.
    Dont really know what more to say except that this is just a superb write!

    Good job and thanks for sharing!
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a Beautiful Poem and I hope that all three of the poeple you wrote it for can read and understand what you wrote for them. I love the "Your Beautiful" stanzas the flow is good with great word choice.
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by Alura | [ Reply to This ]


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