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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: cruddy love poemdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Akili
    Elite Ratio:    2.36 - 915/400/60
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 990
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 776



    Description:
       Some crazy love poem I wrote and am now pasting caze I have nothing better to do? Any ways, hope you enjoy this, as it'll most likely be the first and last love poem you'll see from me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscruddy love poemdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I keep telling myself
    that life will go on without you
    that roses smell as sweet
    about the other fish in the sea.

    I loved to see your smile
    and hear you voice
    no matter if filled with anger or laughter

    life is filled with twist and turns
    that no one will ever
    know or begin to understand
    and yet I could have had it all
    right here in my hands.

    you will go away someday
    and never talk or phone me
    never know of the pain
    and tears I use to cry.

    sweet is love
    also very painful

    I used the last of my strength
    it seems
    long before you came
    I couldnt tell you
    or Id fill you with pain.




    Submitted on 2006-01-31 11:30:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      because i read the description, it only said before i even started reading it "i'm not passionate of love poetry" and that did show in the poem.
    if you were really into writing it,
    the image and vocab would have been soo much stronger.
    yeah, it was pretty weak.


    <bleedingtears>
    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      *Can't think of anything to say so she breaks out in song*

    I'm drowning in the shadows, that creep in my mind
    And it's hard to escape, when there's no place left for me to hide
    And I keep on running from the blood on my hands
    The battle is won but will it ever end
    Who am I to kill a stranger
    After all that we've been through
    Who am I to kill a stranger
    After all that we've been through
    Darkness has engulfed all the light in my life
    And my thirst to kill has grown stronger over time
    And I keep on running from the blood on my hands
    The battle is won but will it ever end
    Who am I to kill a stranger
    After all that we've been through
    Who am I to kill a stranger
    After all that we've been through
    Who am I to kill a stranger
    The truth you always knew
    Who am I to kill a stranger
    After all that we've been through
    It's the fever that yearns for the thrill of the kill
    And I keep on running from the blood on my hands
    The battle is won but will it ever end
    Who am I to kill a stranger
    After all that we've been through
    Who am I to kill a stranger
    After all that we've been through
    Who am I to kill a stranger
    The truth you always knew
    Who am I, a little stranger
    And now I'm killing you


    LOL I realize this may not have been the most appropriet of all lyrics...since this was a LOVE song LMAO...I love you Aki!
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it.... Have you ever been in love??? It lacks a little bit of passion I think. Also there were some gramatical errors and some ortograpgs too, but who cares... Where was I? Yes passion! If you ever want to write a poem about passion, you must feel like your first love, so special, so great, so mysterious, and of course so painful when it's lost. You've explored some part of this passion, but much more is to add, but I'd say just be yourrself, dont push your self and let the feather in your hands be guided by romamce.

    Now I hope you won't be mad at me because I posted a bad critic?? I know you will, so I'll just take my legs and run bye bye!!! *starts running in every single possible direction*

    ps. If you ever need help to write a new one, just ask me, I could give you some pointers. ;)

    Neko
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by Gothik | [ Reply to This ]


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