Description: this poem is just about how i've been feeling about life, like its a big repeating movie, im startin to hate it. do the same thing everyday, gets boring. dont worry though, i added in the part about suicide just to make more sense on how depressed it makes me, but i wouldn't kill myself. read and comment
~Zach~
will i ever change too? -------------------------------------------
wake up
take a shower
get dressed
go to school
the same everyday
a big trap i was born into
can't escape this prison
no matter how hard i try
life is repeating constantly
friends are mad again,
its the stupidest stuff
who cares about popularity?
finish the day
go home again
waste more time
contemplating what to do
escape is so easy
yet so hard to do
the gun is right there
but the trigger won't be pulled
go to sleep
with the same thoughts
wishing for sweet release
life repeats itself again
Zach, that is good how you used going to school as a way to start off a chain of words, this is yet another good poem and I still hope for you to make more so I can read them Ok,well, keep up the good work
Well this is the crappiest part of life. It's a matter of what you're going to do with it. I really appreciated the idea of the gun sitting there, never to be fired. We all create our own happiness. It's great that you write and you can take yourself anywhere with that. Everyday you have a new shot at life. Being in school you are kinda limited to what you can and can't do, but do something to try to make yourself feel better. It's never hopeless!
First off, the biggest thing I liked about this was the gun sitting there unfired day after day. Release is hard man, trust me I have tried. I can feel this, the monotone of a repetative life sucks ass doesn't it? lol. I like this poem, and I cannot really find anything to critique here, besides myabe the length. I think on this same thought you could have said more, alot more, about it. Good b on what you have here man, I liked reading it, I even reread it as I was writing this comment. ~Rob~
First, the poem: It would probably convey its message better if you worded it WITH repetition, perhaps a single, last line in every verse, repeated throughout the poem, villanelle-style. As it now stands, it sounds flat, but doesn't convey your feeling. Second, the idea: Khrishnamurti once said that if a person was bored, they just aren't paying attention. I suggest discovering what actually is and has been in this world. It's quite fascinating. fred
Well, you sound like you are stuck in a rut. Life is like that sometimes you know. And especially because you are as young as you are...god, I am sounding old now...hee hee! I remember when I was your age and I felt like I was old enough to know all about life, but then as I actually got older, I realized I didnt know much about anything at that age. And now that I am 35, fourteen seems so young. Funny how things change. Anyway, you are at that age where you want to get up and go but you are too young to really do anything. Not much money, not old enough to drive. Just hang in there, it gets sooooo much better as you get older and are able to do more with your time than just school. And dont be surprised when you are older if you start wishing you could go back to how simple it was when you were 14. My advice to you is to enjoy your boredom while you got it. It only gets more demanding! Hee hee! Wow, look at that Insphered, I left you a nice comment!Take care!
Repition. A wonderful torture to many, including myself. I apologize for the strangness of this comment but I just wanted to say something.
Suicide doesn't bother me in the least, nor does it confuse me like it does others. Suicide is just the easy way out, the coward approach to release from their own tormented world in which they have created all on their own. So many want to believe that events happen to them and not because of them, it is rather sad to me. The scenario has been played out too many times and the lessons just seam to be completely missed. Actually too many people don't even realize that there is a lesson in every moment, so therefore they choose not to understand why things are the way they are. You said you are tired of the same thing everyday, a bad movie that is stuck on play as it were. That is surly one way to look at it, but you won't be able to honestly understand reality as it actually is to you. Reality is normally defined as a perception shared by everyone within a large normal curve. In other words people think that reality is the same to everyone else, not so, far fro reality. Reality is only actually defined by a single individual, what their reality is to them. That is what reality is, so to you reality is a repetative movie. that is your choice to see i that way, but it will never change, no matter how much you want it to. The only way to really change your life is to change your perception. Confined to your depressions will only increase your sense of hoplessness, I promise. There are infinite variations when it comes to looking at life, it must be you who will change that view. For example, most people look at Cancer as a horrible thing, and sure it is to those who see it that way. But to someone who wants to look at cancer a different way that normal opinion doesn't apply. The chemicals that the water companies use to sanitize the water you drink causes cancer, but without them we would die a more horrible death. All kinds of diseases can be transferred without those chemicals. There are many more up sides to cancer if you want to see them. My point is that instead of keeping your perception on one side of your situation it will always seam bad, the key is to stand back and look at how many lessons you can learn, how does a moment benefit you rather than hurt you.
As life in school persists you will learn more things about yourself. As for the rest of your "friends" you have to try and understand why they are the way they are and decide if you really want to participate with their childish venues. He sad this, she said that, it is all the same and will never change unless you decide that you will not be involved in that immaturity. I'm not suggesting that they shouldn't be your friends, but it is your choice to involve yourself and it is your choice to be effect by their actions. I gaurantee life will get better when you start searching to define yourself, once more wisdom is gained. Trust me, when school lets out you will envy those days, because life will pick up the pace and you'll wish you could go back to the time when you were younger.
Anyway, I am sorry this is so long. I hope I was helpful to you, if not the I am sorry for bothering you.
Submission Name: will i ever change too?
Take care!
