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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: that child I use to bedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: atonement
    Elite Ratio:    2.71 - 106/186/98
    Words: 221
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1109
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1257



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsthat child I use to bedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Where is that child that I use to be? So innocent and carefree. Please take me back to that precious child, please take me back to that precious child. Snowflakes slowly drifting past the glow of the headlights, the backseat is where my innocence was robbed from me. Backseat baby, that's what I'll be.

    Where is that child that I use to be? Smiling and laughing, making friends so easily. Please take me back to that precious child, please take me back to that precious child. Alone, darkness my only friend. I cry myself to sleep, sadness she haunts me. Depressed, just wait and see.

    Where is that child that I use to be? When mom was my hero, forever sunshine was my dream. Please take me back to that precious child, please take me back to that precious child. Mom's never home and now you realize how stupid your childhood dreams came to be.

    Where is that child that I use to be? Vindicated and free, toubles never consered me. Please take me back to that precious child, please take me back to that precious child. Now, I take the world so seriously. Media's whore, trapt with the chains of the cooperation. Save me, why can't today's youth can't see?





    Submitted on 2006-01-31 20:21:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I don't know what to say. It was amazing. I loved it. I loved the line, "When mom was my hero, forever sunshine was my dream." Amazing work.

    x-clandestine-o
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by clandestine | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this, I can see why it's your favourite of your works. This is just incredible, I loved the repetition of "please take me back to that precious child."

    the line
    " toubles never consered me. "
    had some typos

    I love how you don't write in typical poetry format, usually it irks me, but with your work I enjoy it.
    This is definitely another one for the favourites.

    "Snowflakes slowly drifting past the glow of the headlights, the backseat is where my innocence was robbed from me. Backseat baby, that's what I'll be."

    Never. Stop. Writing.
    -Caribou-
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice job:) Very cool poem. I love the line, Media's whore. It's just so true of people today, so wrapped up in what the tv tells them is cool.
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      I think I got the meaning you were trying to make. I liked your poem. It's probably better than some of mine. I will definatlly want to read more. Great job.
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by sarahthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...so much feeling, so much pain. I'm awestruck. Your poem is amazing. I virtually seemed to understand/ feel this poem... I hope you don't mind if I add it to my favorites... and I hope to see more poems like this around... again, wow...
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by night_angel | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it as well i agree very well written and in great detail as well i applaud you i will be defintally checking out more of your writings in the future great job hope to hear back from you good luck with everything
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by Psmurf_Bass | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, I liked your poem a lot. Looking for a way back to your childhood and its all over when something happens. I think I saw the whole picture, hopefully. It was awesome. Thumbs up
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]


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