Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rumors and Raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: haileebobailee
    ASL Info:    18/F/NV
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 30/41/15
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 549
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1269



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRumors and Raindots
    -------------------------------------------


    I saw you walking in the rain

    that day in early March.

    You didnít see me.

    Carolina blue converse and a

    blank stare.



    I remembered our road trip

    to San Francisco Bay.

    The pier and the Giants.

    Lobster tails and clam chowder

    at Lisaís Bar and Grill.



    Winter snowboarding

    and broken arms.

    A bad hair cut and blue hair dye.

    Too many colds and

    too much cough medicine.



    Then we fell away from each other.

    February.

    A bitter breakup

    and rumors.

    Lies and a

    beautiful blonde.



    You said you were sorry

    I didnít believe you.

    An empty vodka bottle

    and a minute long phone call

    was our end.



    So now as you

    walk in the rain

    I remember those times

    and I wonder why

    you act like you donít see

    me anymore.






    Submitted on 2006-02-01 01:52:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "A lost love in a time past, but some good memories to last. An experiance we all can share, understood by hearts that care. A truly warm write, and I can identify...Mugs-
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by mugsy | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this alot...is actually how i feel now...me and gf just ended after a long time...and she acts like she doesn't see me ne more...so i think this is not too emotional and it really good...
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by withblindedeyez | [ Reply to This ]
      I must disagree, I don't think there is such a thing as a poem with too much emotion! The rawness of this poem is held captive by it's words, and this is a beautiful, brilliant write.
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by faln_angl | [ Reply to This ]
      Um... seems to me this almost had too much emotion for a post. Sometimes these poems are best kept to yourself when others won't understand the story behind them. But ne way, good work!
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with xsweetanglekiss. the emotion in this is very well hidden. it seems like u are just recording thoughts and memories in a catalog or something. but if u look close u can see the love u have for this person while u are writing and u can also feel the pain that he caused. damn good write
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed reading this and it struck a chord with me as i've been blanked again and again and it hurts. you put a lot of emotion into this and that came across. great piece i like it a lot
    John
    x
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]
      This is one of those poems where it has so much emotion behind it, yet it is so suttle when you read it. It has alot of power, and it takes alot to be able to write a piece that stands out in that way! I admire your writing and I wish you to keep it going!
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by xsweetangelkiss | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    89650

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ¬©‚ĄĘ written by kyserin
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry