From the day that I first saw you,
On your face I see a gleam,
Remembering it everyday since then
Every night about you I dream.
Very rarely I cannot remember all your expressions, but
Eventually I remember how you feign or look,
Reminding me that I want you,
May it be by hook or crook.
Interesting is the fact that I haven't already claimed you as mine,
Not to worry though, for when I have done just that,
Everyone will think that what I've done is just fine!
| This sounds like a LoVe poem....SaAber.... well, anyways, I liked it it was a beautiful poem. Keep it up!|
|| Posted on 2006-05-14 00:00:00 | by jslbabygirl101 | [ Reply to This ] || din understand the last 3 lines.|
overall impression: gud rite, but u've written much better.
keep it up
|| Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by obaid | [ Reply to This ] || This is really deep|
I believe you are speaking of that simple word called Love and how it can easily be manipulated
I feel you are a kind hearted person deep inside just a little afraid to let others in
Dont be afraid thou
like I said
I can see your Heart is in the right place
I dont believe you can purposely hurt anyone
|| Posted on 2006-03-18 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] || I wouldn't say it's crappy...call it a work in progress. Try changing it up a little, like |
'Very rarely I cannot remember all your expressions, but
Eventually I remember how you feign or look,'
'At times your face in my mind fades,
but eventually I'll rmember how you looked that day.'
|| Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by faln_angl | [ Reply to This ] || ummm... interesting phrasing... your poem has a good ryme scheme and lots of narration. I like this poem and I bet my friends would also. I hope you don't mind if I tell them of it... and everything.||| Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by night_angel | [ Reply to This ] |