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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: nildots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mugsy
    ASL Info:    68/M/Sooke/ B.C./Can.
    Elite Ratio:    4.1 - 138/106/35
    Words: 11
    Class/Type: Haiku/Nature
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 77



    Description:
       Haiku


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsnildots
    -------------------------------------------


    Golden summer days
    Flowing ever so sweetly
    From mouths of bees.




    Submitted on 2006-02-01 12:19:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I dont really see how it is 'bursting with imagery', but to each his own. I dont really like this, mainly because of the ending. Normally even though they are short, Haiku lines are related in some way, the ending gives the rest meaning and purpose. What is the meaning or purpose of this? I dont mean to sound harsh, the first lines are ok, its just that the last line doesnt connect very well with the rest. I would edit this some more.


    ~Kane~
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by Kane Martyr | [ Reply to This ]
      This is sweet, and bursting with imagery. You can really see all these thing you describe. I love how it is so short, yet describes summer so beautifully.
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]


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